Monster Hunter: Guardian by Larry Corriea and Sarah Hoyt

 (Author's note: I have been informed by one Mrs. Sarah Hoyt that I should not be paying for anything I blog about. I'm not saying she's wrong. I'm just saying that I wanted to read this and then I wanted to tell you all about it and well...

I was walking down the street one day and some dollars fell out of my wallet and when I bent over to pick them up there was a book laying on the sidewalk. If it just so happened that it happened to be something she helped write, how could that be my fault?

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

 Oh, and I don't review covers but, as an old-school GI Joe fan, I can't help but look at that and think "SWEET BARONESS PIC!!!! Uhh... oops.)

 

 

It's not my fault okay, I mean except for the part where it IS my fault, but it's not, right? But I MAY have a small confession to make. It's POSSIBLE, just possible you understand, that when I first picked up a copy of Monster Hunter:Alpha I was a bit disappointed at first. It's not that it was a bad book. It was an awesome book. It's just that I had kind of come to think of the Monster Hunter series as being the story of Owen Pitt and when the main character was not him...

Poor little Jimbo got his world rocked. I mean seriously, it was weird. Of course I kept reading and I loved it, but for a guy like me who really just bought it because of the author and the series and hadn't read any snippets or anything..

Yeah, I got junk punched.

Of course, we've had another novel since then starring Agent Franks from the Monster Control Bureau so maybe it should come as no surprise, especially with her picture on the cover, that the star of Monster Hunter: Guardian is none other than Mrs. Julia Shackleford-Pitt, wife of Owen Pitt, heir to the ownership of the Monster Hunter International company, super-sniper and all around tail-kicker. Seriously, I wouldn't cross Julie if you paid me. I'm not kidding. She's not only a phenomenal long-range shot, she's also super loyal and able to overcome her fear of just about anything. Oh, and she's no stranger to using violence to complete her mission. 

Those who follow me here at Jimbo's know that  I love a strong female protagonist, so it's no wonder that I loved MH:G. Julie is the kind of woman that we can follow anywhere and when someone takes her infant son it's ON. She'll do what she needs to get him back and she's not particularly worried about what that is. If she ruffles a few feathers in the process of getting little Ray that's just too bad. And well...

I mean...

That's a LOT of feathers, but at least they're not MY feathers. So it's okay right?

And it's weird because, although the Illustrious Mr. Correia does have children, he's nobodies mother. Hoyt is though, and this is a story written from the point of view of not just a world beating sniper, but a mother. Listen, I've got kids but it's different for dudes. We've got a different hormonal balance and different brain chemistry so we don't think, feel or act like a woman would in most situations. I'm not saying that's a bad thing or that anyone is doing anything wrong. It's just a fact. So, while I can definitely see moving Heaven and Earth to get my kid if someone stole them, it would be different for me emotionally.

Hoyt nails the differences, probably because she actually is different. Everything Julie goes through feels right even though it doesn't match with what I would go through. So I'm sold, even though I'd probably be more rage and less pain. It makes sense. 

Julie also learns some things about herself that the rest of us have been wondering about as well. I don't want to give up more than that and it's probably too much anyway. The fact remains that there is something she needed to know that we needed to know. What it is makes sense in a weird sort of way. And if you don't do weird, you don't do MHI, so I know you'll love it.

Of course, in an MHI book, you expect more than just the emotional stuff and Hoyt and Correia deliver. There are the usual gunshots and explosions. There are some truly bizarre things about. We're not really sure what all of them are, but that's good. You never know what might show up again later. An old villain resurfaces for the eight hundred and ninety seven millionth time and it's good to see them, even if Julie is a little less than happy about it. Maybe especially since Julie doesn't like it, because what fun is a story where the characters run around happy all the time?

It's obvious that Correia put in his time on the novel as well because, while Hoyt can do the weird and uncanny as well as anyone in the business, there is no one who can gun geek like Correia. And there is some gun porn here. Not as much as you would get in some other MHI novels, but definitely enough to keep an MHI fan happy and scratch that itch. I get it too. Sometimes you just need a cool firearm to get you through your day and keep you going strong. 

One thing that was really interesting to me was that part of MH:G takes place in Portugal. Hoyt is an immigrant from that ancient land and it's really cool to see how she compares her new homeland (she is now an American citizen) with her old one. Oops. Spoiler alert? Part of the story takes place in Portugal. I'm not going to say what happens there though.

There are fairly constant references to the MHI novel before this, Monster Hunter Siege. They're not all pervasive though, and a knowledge of MH:S, while a good thing to have in general, is not necessary to understand or enjoy the events in Guardian. Suffice it to say that Julie is worried about some people she hasn't talked to in a long time, including her husband. Given the fact that they're off fighting it should be fairly obvious why she's worried. That's all you need to know. That's unless you WANT to read the previous book, which is an awesome read as well. 

Other than that though, pull up a chair, get a barrel of Cheez-its (HOOOON!) and enjoy the only existing collaboration of the International Lord of Hate and the Beautiful, But Evil, Space Princess.  You'll thank me later. Of course, if this is your first MHI book *GASP* your wallet will hate me when you feel yourself compelled to buy and read the rest of the series, but I'm here for you, not your wallet.

Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Auctions

Monster Hunter Guardian
Larry Correia and Sarah Hoyt
Baen Books, 2019

Monster Hunter Guardian is available for purchase at the following link. If you click it and buy literally anything from Amazon, I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.

We're Living in a Science Fiction Novel

Technological progress has reached levels previously only seen in the works of science fiction. Things are possible now that were not even seriously thought of when I was just a wee Jimbo. Seriously.  The Terminator (1984) was a  story of a future robot, but no one took thought it could actually happen. Keith Laumer published Bolo: Annals of the Dinochrome Brigade in 1976 but no one really expected it to come to fruition. Robert Heinlein published multiple novels that included reusable rockets that landed on their tails. The list goes on.

It's hard to fathom just how far we've come in a remarkably small amount of time. I'm forty-one years old. When I was a kid, the eight track was the newest form of musical media. It was amazing in that you could immediately find the track that you wanted simply by pushing a button and switching to the right track. It was about the size of a stack of pancakes. Of course, by the time I hit my teenage years you could flip on the TV and watch Captain Picard call up a song to listen to on the computer. But that would never happen, right? WRONG. There are people who have entire hard drives filled with music now and who can find the specific song they want to listen to in seconds. We haven't reached the level of being able to produce an actual holodeck, but with Netflix you can instantly pull up a movie or television episode in a similar manner. And while reproductions of novels may not be available there, ala Picard's playing in the Dixon Hill novels and Data's  propensity to imitate Sherlock Holmes, it would definitely be possible. If HBO can do Game of Thrones, someone should be able to do Sarah Hoyt's A Few Good Men. (Hint: I'd pay to see AFGM.)

Yesterday, Space X launched their Falcon Heavy rocket with a spaceman dummy riding a Tesla car inside of it. In case you missed it, at least on person drove their Tesla for six-hundred and seventy miles on one charge. That's further than most cars will go on a tank of gas. I drive a cab for a living. I go through half a tank at about two hundred miles when it's warm. (I have a tendency to leave the engine on between runs so the heat will work when temps are in the single digits.) Six hundred and seventy miles is really impressive.

After that launch, two of three boosters were successfully recovered. One ran out of fuel and crashed into the ocean at three hundred miles an hour, damaging the recovery ship. Still though, the two that were successfully recovered landed on their tails on a pad in front of a crowd. Although Elon Musk says they won't be used again (apparently they're an older version and only newer versions will be used going forward. (Unfortunately?) it appears that Musk has overshot his mark and the capsule will end up in orbit in the asteroid belt instead of near Mars. Oops.

I want to take a minute and appreciate that though. A human-made spacecraft capable of transporting  a living being is headed for an in the asteroid belt. That seriously happened. Now that does not immediately equate to asteroid mining. There are serious technical and medical issues to be solved first, not the least of which is that the Falcon Heavy isn't expected to get back for a billion years. The economic benefits of getting a load of ore back a billion years later are dubious at best. It is a long step in the right direction though. A way of returning is going to be key. The science fiction reader/(as yet unpublished) writer in me wants the solution to both returning a spacecraft to Earth after a trip to deep space and the medical issues experience by astronauts to be a spacecraft capable of generating a continuous (not, not measured in impulse-seconds, CONTINUOUS) one-g of thrust, which would cut out only for a few seconds to rotate the craft in space in order to generate a continuous one-g of thrust in the opposite direction, thus bringing the spacecraft to a stop. What can I say? I'm a romantic.

It's not just that though. High-powered lasers are a real thing now. Right now, the scientists and engineers producing them are focused (no pun intended) on using them for further research but anyone who can't see the military applications here has never read John Ringo's Hot Gate series, or watched Star Wars or... Well, you get the idea. Also, I read somewhere that the United States is not participating in the current research but I wonder. It's entirely possible that we're sleeping. The US is, after all, the country that had to import captured German scientists and engineers to build a rocket in the post World War II era because it had done no research. On the other hand, I did a paper about the Manhattan Project and the security surrounding it as an undergrad and I have to wonder if there's not a Top Secret project out there. I have zero evidence that there is but it's possible.

Think about this too. Computing power has reached the level of insanity. We have literally gotten to the point where a calculator has more power than the entire Apollo mission. A cell phone has more. Forget about your laptop/desktop. It's crazy what computers can do now.  In her 1999 novel, The Veiled Web, Catherine Asaro posits a search engine that is the rough equivalent of Dogpile. With all due respect to Mrs. Asaro (and I'm a HUGE fan) there is no way that it would be able to keep up with the modern iteration of Google.

Robot technology is taking off as well. Sex bots are a thing now. Sony has a robot dog that can do amazing things. Russia has a robot tank and claims that it can outperform manned vehicles. The US Army is moving toward robot vehicles to accompany its M1 tanks. It already uses robots to accompany its helicopters on missions as per the same article. Of course,  the military has been using drones for quite awhile now, but this seems to be something different. These are autonomous or semi-autonomous. Things keep getting better.

I can't help but wonder what's next. I'm only forty-one and would appear to have at least a couple of decades left barring anything unforeseen. Is it possible that I could actually live to see an offworld colony established somewhere? Could Luna Base become a real thing in my lifetime? Is it really possible that I could flip on the news one night and see a human bootprint on the surface of Mars? Ten years ago, I'd have laughed at both thoughts. Now I think it might seriously happen and no, I'm not talking about those goofballs from Mars One. I'm talking about something that might actually have a chance to succeed. I can't wait to see what the future holds. For once in my life I'm optimistic not just for myself but for the future of my species. It's all about to come true my friends. We need to aim for the Good, prepare for the Bad and find a way to prevent the Ugly but we're finally moving forward in a meaningful way. I'm headed into the future with a smile on my face. Come with me, my friends. The future is us. The future is now. The future is bright. Let's seize it with both hands.

Some future related merchandise is available at the links below:

Sarah Hoyt's Darkship Revenge

Have you ever sat in a cab at three in the morning with no fare in the back reading when you should have been taking a nap? Have you ever gotten home from a thirteen hour shift driving a cab knowing you only had five hours to sleep before you went back and did it all over again and sat starting at words on a cell phone screen anyway? If not I'm guessing that either:

A.) You've never read Darkship Revenge by Prometheus Award winner Sarah Hoyt.
B.) You don't drive a cab and work midnights.
or
C.) Both.

First the disclaimer: This is the third book in a series.  I think it would work pretty well as a stand-alone but I've read the first two.  The reader may want to start with Darkship Thieves and Darkship Renegades. Then again,  you don't really NEED to unless you're anal about reading a series in publication order like a certain blogger we all know and love.  *COUGH*

The story centers around Athena Hera Sinistra, daughter of Goodman Sinistra, ruler of one of the seacities in Hoyt's future Earth. Athena is an interesting character, possibly in the sense of the ancient Chinese curse. She was raised to be a body donor for her father. He did what he had to do to attempt to control her. It didn't work very well. I wouldn't want to be the guy who tried to control Thena. I guess that makes me smarter than him. Then again, Daddy Dearest was gene-engineered to be smarter than the rest of us, sooo... yup. Smarter than anyone who would try to control this chick. She's a little out there. But what do I mean by a littler out there? Either she is;

1.) Totally off her rocker (I don't believe this but she seems to.)
2.) A little "off" (Totally possible)
3.) A sociopath who somehow manages to care about her family, if not anyone else (I'm thinking no, but some of Thena's thoughts about herself seem to tend in this direction)
4.) A hardcore pragmatist who  ignores humanistic concerns (This sort of works, but not really. She does act like her nuclear family and her in-laws. Also, her treatment of the boys in the story is both pragmatic and humanistic.)
or
5.) The only sane person left (This options scares the hell out of me. What she does works too well to be crazy, but if THIS is what sane looks like...)

Since Wonder Woman was my last review, let me say this as well: This is how you do an empowered female character. Thena is a take-no-prisoners, no-holds-barred type who sees what needs to be done and does it. She won't take know for an answer and she survives things that would kill most people. Thena doesn't give up when she has a goal in mind, ever. She has the protective instinct in spades and she cannot be stopped when it comes to defending her own.

Thena has a child in the first few pages of the book and, while she doesn't think she will make a good mother, she actually does in her own fashion. I mean, I'm not sure that having an infant strapped to your chest during a firefight is all that great of an idea even if you can't find a babysitter but Thena manages to do it without getting either one of them killed so... It's all good... I guess? Right?

The supporting cast is also impressive.  Thena's husband Kit lives and breathes as much as if he were sitting next to you on the couch. The kids Thena and company end up saving come across as true to life as well.  I started out wanting to hate these kids but the time the story was over I wanted to adopt one.  (I'll admit that it didn't hurt that they had named themselves after famous fictional characters.  OK,  so maybe I'm a little testy about a story that includes a Christopher Robin but no Tigger but I'll get over it.)  Nat, Luce,  Simon all seem real. I could almost feel the stress these guys were going through myself.

The story itself has a relentless pace. I've heard it said that if an author feels their story becoming boring they should drop a mountain on their characters. Well, I'm guessing that Hoyt believes in pre-emptive strikes and that the Himalayas are missing a few peaks, because the hits keep coming and the action doesn't stop.

Part of why I like this story is because I love a good villain and Hoyt's Good Men are the type of person I can totally love to hate.  Anyone who would send down a plague to wipe out most of humanity in order to enslave the leftovers is worth killing.  What they do to the children in their care is quite frankly disgusting as well.  Hoyt has obviously taken great care in gifting us with people we can root against.  She's done a damn fine job. It's not often that an author can make me hate a group of characters badly enough to want to choke them all to death but Hoyt manages it with aplomb.

The technology in Darkship Revenge is either really cool or horrifying. Gene-engineered space plants that grow power pods that you can run a city with are sweet.  Characters fly around on anti-gravity powered brooms. Flying cars are everywhere. And of course,  the plio revolves around defeating a biological weapon that is devastating.

There is one facet of Darkship Revenge that drives me batshit insane.  Hoyt's characters shoot at each other with weapons called burners.  They're kind of a cross between a phaser pistol and a welding torch.  In and of itself that's okay.  The problem emerges with the unbelievable shooting skill her characters display under pressure.  I mean, the miracle head shots displayed in  The Walking Dead make me crazy but what these characters do with burners is at least an order of magnitude more difficult.  That being said,  it's called The Rule of Cool for a reason. All in all though,  this book kicked ass.

Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Brooms

Darkship Revenge
Sarah Hoyt
Baen,  2017

Darkship Revenge is available at the following link:

Well... If Hollywood Can't Get Itself Together...

It has recently come to my attention that Hollywood execs thing that the whole universe is stuck on repeat. We have, after all, seen reboots of just about everything that doesn't still have a reboot coming. Think about it. People keep talking about how it's a great time to be a nerd because of all the movies coming out and how mainstream gaming has gotten ( I'm going to leave gaming for another post, mainly because I've been spending so much time playing World of Warcraft that I haven't played anything else in approximately forever.) but what's really coming out? Think about it:

Star Wars: listen, I'm a fan. I wear the gear. I watch the movies. Before I got so wrapped up in MMOs I played the video games. I've even played the old RPG by West End Games. The fact remains that these movies debuted forty years ago and as much as I loved The Force Awakens it was basically a remake. Star Wars basically started the nerd era with its re-releases, special additions and prequels. There were geek movies before all of that to be sure, but it was the wild success of Star Wars and its later iterations that led to the great times we're enjoying now.

Teenage Mutant Turtles: I am, admittedly a bit of a weird Turtles fan. They came in just as I got to old to collect the toy line, but I've read the comics and seen the movies, and I played a collected the old Palladium RPGs back in the day. I love these guys too, but how did they come out of nowhere again? The first of the new movies was kind of meh, and I don't expect the next one to be any better.

The Telegraph has posted a list of reboots coming soon. The list continues and it's quite frankly getting annoying. Very rarely you can get a reboot that was better than the original (Battlestar Galactica anyone?) but it's definitely not something you can count on. I have however, been informed by a good friend and retired Marine noncom that you should never bring up a problem without a solution. Since I believe in taking advice from intelligent people, and since I've been told that Gunny is never wrong, I have a solution. Are you ready for it? It's revolutionary. It's going to turn the whole world on its head. Here it goes: HEY HOLLYWOOD: MAKE SOME NEW STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since that was a relatively imprecise suggestion, I will endeavor to make a few examples of books that I have read that would make great movies. Granted, the whole book to movie thing has been done repeatedly but that's because it works, so without further ado, let me get to my list:

Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia: Note to every producer who has ever held a pen or typed a word: If you can't take a story that starts with a big ass accountant throwing his werewolf boss out of a thirteenth story window and continues with battles against vampires, and an ancient curse and make a blockbuster out of it you need to stop trying. Seriously. At that point your probably so inept that you're not sure whether you should retire to bake mittens or knit cookies but it doesn't matter. Just get out of the way and let someone with some talent in. There is a whole series here. I could see this being a TV series ala Game of Thrones, but I'll be honest: I want to see it on the big screen. It'll look cooler when things blow up that way. Also, I want to see who they get to play Julie Shackleford. The only thing better than a hot blonde is a deadly hot blonde. Someone make this happen.

Pixie Noir by Cedar Sanderson: Ok, I'll be honest. Part of the reason I want to see this made it so that I can see a movie with a female protagonist named Bella that doesn't suck. Of course court intrigue, massive monsters and big explosions are why the rest of me wants to see it. Bella gets sucked into a world that she had no reason to suspect existed and things get crazy. This could be massively successful because it would be so much fun. I'd pay to see it and I'm sure a lot of others would too.

Impaler by Kate Paulk: Yes, it's Count Dracula but not as we've ever seen him. This is a story that involves two things no other Dracula story I've ever read or seen does: Vlad's younger days and his family. The real Vlad Dracula was a complicated man and this story reflects it. Also, if there is anything that has been proven by The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings it's that massive medieval combat appeals to modern audiences and there is plenty of it here.


Draw One In the Dark by Sarah Hoyt: Shapeshifting people. Dragons. Diners. Sexual tension. Death. Romance. What else do you want out of a movie? This one is heavy on the paranormal but so is a lot of other stuff and it sell tickets. They're remaking The Craft and Sarah blows that away. Of course, there are only two sequels to this novel published so far but they'd both make great follow ons after this one makes millions and millions.

Dipped, Stripped and Dead by Elise Hyatt: Ok, so this is a mystery and I'm mentioning it on a SF/F blog. Good thing I'm not a purist. Not only is this a great mystery but it has one of the best casts of characters I've ever read. Dyce is the main character and she's a little off but her son Enoch aka "E" is the coolest little kid ever.

Artifice by Lianne Miller: Wow. If you've ever wondered what a modern hospital would do if presented with a vampire read this book. If you want to sell millions of tickets, turn it into a movie. Eliza is not only a great character but her character arc is amazing and the twist and turns in this one will keep an audience enthralled.

Castaway Planet by Ryk Spoor: Robin Crusoe IIIINNNNN SPAAAAACE! 'Nuff said. Honestly, I see this as more of an animated family film but it's one I'd love a chance to take my daughters to see. Disney could rock this thing and I'd love every minute of it.

I'm tempted to add Amy Lynn by Jack July, but there is one scene in particular that would have to be in the film and I don't know if Hollywood has the balls to do it. I mean, I'd love to see it, but umm... yeah. Then again, maybe they would if half of what I've heard about the Game of Thrones TV series is true. (Sorry, I don't have HBO). But regardless, what's better than southern justice and war stories? Both in a single package!

That's just a few but it's my two cents. If any of you have suggestions, I'm open to them. The point here is as much about the fact that there is plenty out there to use and I'd like to see it. I seriously heard a rumor that there may be a Greatest American Hero remake coming and that wasn't even all that good the first time. It's not that hard. Just find an awesome book, fork over a bunch of cash to the author and make a movie out of it. We really don't need remakes and reboots of movies from thirty years ago.

The works suggested above can be purchased at the links below:

Let's see how this turns out...

As some of you are probably already aware, today is the deadline to vote in the 2015 Hugo Awards. I've come out publicly on the side of the Sad Puppies, and I do hope they win, but this is not a "Vote for the Puppies" post per se. What I'm posting about is "If you paid for the right to vote... VOTE!!!!" post. Don't vote for my favorite nominee(or at least don't vote for my favorite because it's MY favorite nominee) vote for your favorite nominee. Vote on quality of story. Vote because you love the author. Vote because of political conent if you must but vote dammit! And vote for a nominee.

I am of the opinion that the noted rash of late registering voters this year were probably mostly Sad Puppies followers. I could be wrong. I have no access to insider information. I will say that this appears to be unusual given the amount of comment it raised. If it wasn't typical Hugo voters registering it had to have been our side. It just makes sense. Again, I could be wrong and I have already sent out for a double order of crow on order. I'll be eating it if I'm wrong.

I will say this: Noah Ward is the biggest asshole this side of Cliff Hanger. If you CHORF types can't get over yourselves enough to admit someone who doesn't share your beliefs into your little club, you suck. I mean that. Voting No Award isn't a way to "stick it to the man" it's a way to mark yourselves as bullies. What you're doing if you vote No Award is showing the world that you're too cowardly to expose yourself to ideas that you don't agree with. At that point why not just burn them? It worked for Hitler. So yes, let's all burn the works of the evil, privileged White Male writers because John Scalzi said to. Also, let's not look too closely at John Scalzi. Or the Neilsen-Haydens or...  Nevermind. Oh, but I forgot the side that WANTS people to read all points of view and make their own decisions is made up of Nazis. Sorry, I forget that the side that believes in freedom is the one for totalitarian government.

I want to take the time out to congratulate the Puppies (both Sad and Rabid) for a second. I don't care if you win, lose or tie here. The bottom line is that you have managed to get a conversation started. For too long we've taken crap from the K. Tempest Bradfords of the world because we were scared to fight back. Don't get me wrong. If K Tempest Teapot wants to only read non-white male straight authors then she has that right. The bottom line is that she tried to take away the livelihood of writers based on race and we fought back.

I'm not saying that minorities, women, LBGTQI, WTFever people should be banned or even discouraged from writing/reading, etc. No one on our side is. What I'm saying is that I shouldn't have to vote for someone based on that crap. I'm saying that equality means equal treatment and if you want to win an award for a story you should have to WRITE A GOOD STORY. That's all I'm saying.

So go forth and vote today my brave Hugo-nauts. Vote you conscience. Vote for the best story because YOU think it's the best story. Don't worry about whether or not your choice is politically correct. Don't worry about whether it supports the right causes. Just worry about whether or not you enjoyed the story and found it entertaining. Let the CHORFs be CHORFs and do what feels right for you.

Some works by Sad Puppies leadership (past, present and future) can be found at the links below: