DC Comics's The Flash

Gather round, my friends, and allow Jimbo to make a confession in front of God and everyone. I freely admit that I have not, in all ways and at all times, necessarily been the biggest fan of superhero movies in the DCEU. This is for reasons that should be fairly obvious to anyone who knows my taste in movies: The DC heroes tend to be broody and boring. The scripts tend to have been written to suck the life out of the audience so that it can be used to clean the toilets. The punch lines aren't funny. The characters aren't believable as people (and no, I don't expect a scientific explanation for why Superman can fly. I just want him to act in a matter that makes sense most of the time and to have a reason for why he doesn't at other times.) or that they try to put too much in (my nickname at one place I used to work was Green Lantern and even I thought that the GL movie was subpar) but with 2023's The Flash I can happily (ish) report that it rates a solid "Meh."

Seriously, the story was pretty decently written. I mean, the whole "The Flash lost the Speed Force" thing was okay, and it makes sense that he would try to get it back. The whole multiverse thing is a well established trope for a reason and it was explained by Bruce Wayne about as well as possible, given that he wasn't talking to a twenty-first century geek from the real Earth that would just understand it because it's so commonly used by so many authors. I mean, the plot evolved in a more or less organic manner and was easy enough to follow. Even the one guy who took things WAY TOO FAR had a valid reason for doing what he did and I can't say I'd have acted any differently than he did given his abilities. 

The acting was okay and, although I wasn't really a big fan of Michael Keaton as Batman the first time around, it was still nostalgic in a weird sort of way. Ezra Miller was really good as both versions of Barry Allen. The only DC movie I've really liked was Wonder Woman and so it should come as no surprise that I enjoyed Gal Gadot reprising the role. Part of my dislike for DC movies in general started in the early 80s when, even as a small boy...

(Jimbo ducks behind both concealment and cover and calls for close air support and probably a dust-off.)

Christopher Reeve couldn't sell me on his version of Superman circa the early 80s. That was  when I was watching the Super Friends and Justice League cartoons and trying to talk my mom into buying me comics at the grocery store and before I was old enough to ride my bike to the comic shop. Still, those movies were kind of painful to watch and, to this day, I'd rather watch a DC cartoon than a live action movie. Even my ex-wife got that. She used to buy me DC cartoons on DVD for Christmas. True story.

And both cuts of Justice League still sucked, Zach Snyder be damned. 

I will give The Flash this much: The fight scenes were excellent and, given the powers of the characters involved, believable. Seriously, there's not a whole lot more impressive than the ability of someone moving at faster than the speed of light to apply an asswhooping. I love the way they slow things down. It really does remind me of the way things look in the comics at times, with Barry able to basically stop and think while moving at a quadrillion miles a second.

Well, give or take, anyway. Just work with me.

The special effects were pretty awesome as well, but somebody help me out here: I've seen too much of this lately. Why are movie studios spending all of this money on special effects when they'd do better saving themselves tens of millions in special effects and spending a couple million extra for a decent writer? Or, and I know this is straight sacrilege...

But has DC ever though of hiring a lifelong comic fan as a director instead of some goofball who just doesn't get what fans love about comics? Of course, there are plenty of fans of Trek and Wars wondering the same thing about the people helming the properties in their universes as well. 

But I'm digressing.

Seriously, if all you want from a film is awesome visuals and cool fight scenes you can get that from The Flash all day long. Watch that movie on a loop, guy, because it's here and it's great.

I may have missed a trick or two here because I've never really been a fan of The Flash as a solo comic as I have been of super groups he's been in, but I will say they didn't screw too much up that I could see. Like Barry Allen is Barry Allen except where he's not because he's not intended to be. If you don't get that watch the movie. 

And, on the script front, I have to give it this much: Barry does at least take the chance to do something we'd all do if we could. I mean, I can't and the real world doesn't work that way, but damned if I wouldn't have the second I figured out that I could. That much of the movie I felt in a way that I really wish I wouldn't have.

At the end of the day, I'm glad I got a chance to watch The Flash. I can't say that about most DC movies I've seen. It's just that there are times when the movie feels like it was outlined by a world class writer and had the details added by a freshman writing major at a commuter college. This movie tried really hard. But hey, I'm pretty sure I got a quick glance of the Golden Age Flash at one point, so that was cool. Watch for it. Tell me if I'm right.

Bottom Line: 3.75 out of 5 Thunderbolts

The Flash
Andy Muschietti
DC Comics, 2023

Some products related to The Flash are available at the links below. If you click the links and buy literally anything from Amazon, I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.

How to Make a Story: A Recipe

 

Tools needed: 

Writer (They're usually easy to catch as they tend to be fairly sedentary.)

Sitting Surface (May need to be reinforced, depending on the size of the writer.)

Writing Surface (Usually a table or desk)

Writing Implements (These vary by Writer, but are typically some variation on either pencil/pen and paper or a keyboard)

Ingredients:

Chocolate (must account for individual tastes of the writer.)

Caffeine (writer's favorite type is best)

Music (again, type varies by writer)

Instructions:

First prepare the Sitting and Writing Surfaces by clearing them of everything. This includes the cat, recalcitrant children and expectant fans.

Place the Writing Implements on the now clear Writing Surface.

Place the writer on the Sitting Surface. This some times takes a bit of adjustment. Not all writers sit the same.

Wait? Did the writer forget to feed the cat? Did the child needed that thing for school? Is something good on TV? Did the writer forget to check his Facebook this morning? Is work calling? Does the writer smell chicken frying?

NOOOOOOO! YOU'VE LOST THE WRITER!!

Anti-distractify the writer. How? You're asking the guy who's writing this instead of working on his story? Really?

Hold on! This might work!

Bribe the writer!

Offer the Writer the Chocolate and Caffeine if they will return to their Sitting Surface. You may need more Chocolate and Caffeine if the writer has already consumed what you previously brought.

Slowly and carefully place the Writing Implements on the Writing Surface. Do not spook the Writer! Begin playing the carefully selected Music.

Allow the writer several seconds to vibe to the Music before the words begin to flow. This is crucial. Lack of vibeage will ruin the Story.

When the writer pauses, be patient. Story making requires much braining and sometimes it is necessary to pause while previously lowered caffeine and chocolate levels once again begin to rise.

Add more Chocolate and Caffeine. 

Ignore the swear words. That one part didn't work and the character won't do as they're told. This is Tuesday. It, too shall pass. Nevermind what Gandalf said. He just wanted to keep all the loot.

This is definitely a time to throw caffeine and chocolate from a safe space on the other side of the room.

Ignore the evil cackles: The :!":?"?:":")-"-)")--")-ing character finally got his 💩 together. The Writer fixed his little red wagon. Actually, the Writer probably BROKE his little red wagon, but at least the story can continue.

Note to self: Add Little Red wagon to list of ingredients when editing.

Continue feeding the Writer his Chocolate and Caffeine.

NO, NOT THAT MUCH!!

Now the Writer has to Utilize the Latrine.

Hold the Writer's hand after he emerges (hopefully he washed it) and guide him back to the Sitting Surface and gesture toward the Writing Implements. 

Feed the writer a Salty Snack. Help to soak up some of that caffeine you fed him.

What?

I didn't list Salty Snack on the ingredients list? Why do I have to anticipate everything? You're the one who adopted a writer. Why wouldn't you have a variety of snack foods available? Goofball.

The Writer has reached the denou...

Err..

Dinow...

The good part of the story. Things are almost done. His eyes start to close. His fingers are drooping.

Hit the Writer with a mega dose of Caffeine. With a mighty effort the Writer will now charge forward till the ending of the story. 

When the author sighs, slumps forward and pushes the Writing Implements away and appears faint, the First Draft of the Story has been completed. Congratulate the writer who will now be exhausted and a bit melancholy as the excitement of writing is over for the day. Be sympathetic and, for God's sake DO NOT DARE TO UTTER THE WORD "EDITING."

There are links to some books about writing below. If you click the links and buy literally anything from Amazon I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.

The Backbone of Surprise by C.S. Ferguson and Greg Ferguson

So I, being me, picked up my copy (metaphorically. I read the e-book.) of The Backbone of Surprise by C.S. Ferguson and Greg Ferguson wide-eyed with curiosity and not knowing what to expect precisely. I knew I was getting a work of Military Science Fiction, but I didn't know much else besides that. The Amazon blurb gave me a bit more of a clue, but not much of one. It opens with a battle and that's always a good thing. I went from zero to "Let's find out what these heroes are made of," in nothing flat. And trust me. These heroes are no slouches.

But then things take a turn for the worse and something weird happens. For me, it started with "WTF?!?!?" proceeded to "OOOOUCH!!!" and then "NO REALLY, WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!!" I mean, yeah. That was rough. It was awesome, but I'm still in pain just thinking about reading that. Of course, our hero, Digger Stewart, had to find out what had just happened, too. And that's when you truly wander down the rabbit hole. And please believe me when I tell you that Alice ain't got nothin' on this book. It gets really weird, really quickly.

But, let's face it: We're science fiction fans. At least I am, and I'm not sure why you'd be here if you weren't. Weird is what we do. It's our main thing. Who else dresses up and goes to conventions? If you can do the Vulcan Hand Salute, the whole world thinks you're crazy. Drop a Star Wars quote, even an obvious one, and people think you're out of your mind. Well, trust me on this one. Digger ends up with so much weird in so little time, all while under fire, that he feels like a normie in the middle of a meeting of the 501st Division. 

And things just keeping going farther into the strange. Digger feels a little overwhelmed at first, then he has to get involved in the crazy (kinda the way you wished that one girl you dated in high school would have) and that's when things get interesting. He ends up in a military unit that he never knew existed (and doesn't exist on paper) doing things he never knew was possible and in parts it almost feels like there are two separate Science Fiction universes mixed here. It's a transportation thing, and it's just kinda...

Weird.

I love it. And it's not really a concept I haven't seen before, it's just that when it's mixed with another form of FTL travel that it has nothing in common with...

Yeah, that's not how us weirdos usually work. It's cool though and it makes some things possible...

Meanwhile, other things are happening and the enemy is bigger and more organized than the heroes know...

And that's where things got a little strange for even me. Don't get me wrong, it was an awesome kind of weird, but we're doing some things here that hit some hot buttons for a guy like me. 

The Backbone of Surprise is the first book in a series entitled The Transhuman War. Transhumanism is something that pushes a few buttons for me, and some of them are flat out contradictory. Since it's my blog, let's explore this for a second.

There are ethical concerns with transhumanism. The Holocaust (yep, Jimbo just Godwinned his own blog) was more about eugenics than it was about hatred. I know that's not how it's taught now, and believe me racism and hatred were a big part of it, but Hitler was breeding the Meister-Reiss and the people he had murdered were slaughtered because they didn't fit his definition of the perfect human. Whether it was for racial and ethnic reasons, because of congenital deformities, mental challenges, or sexual orientation, the Nazi movement was bent on engineering all of that out of the human genome. They decided to achieve their goals though mass slaughter and that taints everything that comes after.

There is also a religious angle with transhumanism and it's one I'm not fully qualified to discuss. (Jimbo spends too much time on SF/F to read theology too.) My ex-GF would get all fired up about this, but she's no longer with us. Suffice it to say that some people see it as a violation of God's plan for the human body. There may be Bible verses to back that, there may not. I haven't studied it.

And yet...

There are no death camps in The Backbone of Surprise. There are no persecuted minorities, although there are hints that the bio-engineered are leaning toward hating on normal humans, there doesn't seem to be a whole that they can do at the time of the book on a wide scale. And then there's this...

If I'm reading the backstory on this correctly, and I wasn't exactly taking notes, cybernetics in particular were outlawed because they were used in a war. There are a couple of different aspects of this that bother me:

1.) Wars aren't between people. They're between governments. People just get stuck doing the dirty work. Denying a person the ability to do something because some government official gave the wrong orders rankles me. 

2.) Government over-regulation makes me angry. Making yourself think quicker or run faster does nothing to harm another person. From my point of view most things that don't cause physical harm should be legal. And no, I'm not worried about your feelings. Those are a separate issue.

And our heroes are fighting for the government against people who make cybernetics and bionics. It's like gun control writ large. And, since I already Godwinned the post, it's worth mentioning that the first industrialized country to introduce nation wide gun control was Nazi Germany. And, let's face it, 

I'm a big fan of the people doing things that only governments used to be able to do, because that dilutes government power. Of course, when people want to use that same technology to build their own power base, results are mixed. And a lot of what Biofate, the bad guys in the book, are doing is geared toward an eventual takeover as well.

There's a lot to The Backbone of Surprise that I don't necessarily know how to classify in a real world sense, and I think it's good to have this discussion because a lot of the tech in the book will probably be available in the not-too distant future. It's better to have a plan, I guess. I just don't know what an intelligent plan looks like and how, or really even if, fairness plays into it.

Of course, none of that has anything to do with the entertainment value of The Backbone of Surprise and entertainment value is what I usually review based on. The Fergusons have given us the gift of a rollicking good time, fun characters, political intrigue and intense combat. I can't wait to get more of this series and I'll be checking the rest of the trilogy out soon. Even if it does make me think too much.

Bottom Line: 5.0 out of 5 Broken Laws

The Backbone of Surprise
C.S. Ferguson and Greg Ferguson
Theogony Books, 2023

The Backbone of Surprise is available for purchase at the following link. If you click the link and buy literally anything from Amazon, I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.

Rob Howell's A Lake Most Deep

Asskickery, mysteries, intrigue and a new culture? Yes, please! Rob Howell rocked it with A Lake Most Deep. It was my first time reading Howell, but it won't be my last. There's so much packed into this one book. It was almost like a cross between Sherlock Holmes and the battles from Lord of the Rings. I was enthralled from the second I cracked the cover. And, if one of my predictions didn't come to pass (and no, I'm not saying which one) well, it was Howell's book and I suppose he had a better idea of how to write it than I did. Probably. I mean, he's been published and I haven't. So, by definition, he must be better at this than I am, right? 

Anyway...

Yeah, Edward Aethelredson (may I never have to type his name again because that surname is a PITA to spell right. I had to check three times to make sure I got it right.) is a great guy. Sort of. I mean, he outlived his lord and has been forsworn, but he's struggling to regain his honor and he risks both life and limb several times to keep his word. This is the kind of character I can get behind. He's rough and tough physically, but able to cope with someone talking poorly of him. He can handle himself in a fight, but is willing to accept coaching from others. He can put away the booze and feel the camaraderie, but is smart enough to keep his head in bad situations and not trust to the point of harming himself. He is, in short, both smart and deadly with a sense of right and wrong and a strong set of morals. I like this guy. We could hang out and watch a game together.

Edward is kind of a mix of traditions as well. He descends strongly from European traditions in most ways: When he first starts out, he's basically a knight on horseback. A free lance to be sure, but still a person that could have ridden onto the page directly from Medieval France or England and no one would have batted an eye. But as the story goes further, you realize that he has a relationship with a blade that is closer to that between a samurai and his katana than anything else. He sees it almost as a part of himself, an extension of his soul and I love it. The cultural background given to justify this is awesome as well. It's a big part of, not just the current story, but the backstory as well. It fits and it adds something to the story. 

He builds a set of companions that shifts from time to time as well. I've been told that there are really only two stories: A man goes on a journey, or a new guy comes to town and that they're essentially the same story, only told from a different point of view. While this is the story of Edward A. and he is definitely a man who has gone on a journey to seek a new life, there are plenty of characters in A Lake Most Deep that provide the opposite feeling: He is referred to many times as an outsider. It works here, too, because he is not only that but much of the plot relies on Edward's working through his misunderstandings to figure things out.

And figuring things out is kind of the point of A Lake Most Deep. It is as much a mystery as a work of fantasy.  Edward finds himself caught in the middle of a dispute, trying to figure out who kidnapped people from an inn, and lurching toward a grand ending involving high level leadership in the City of Achrida. The twists and turns to get there are complicated, but he continuously makes progress. This guy just won't stop.

Of course, no fantasy hero is complete without the occasional dust-up and I'm here to tell you that 'Ol Mr. A can hold his own in a fight. He's actually kind of a Jean Claude Van Damme type except that he uses weapons instead of just his fists and feet. Then again, his enemies use weapons too, and it makes no sense to try to block a sword with your hand. You'll lose an arm that way.  Probably your life too, come to think of it. Seriously don't go punchy, punchy against an enemy that can go stabby, stabby. Bad things happen that way.

And for a book with no truly huge battles, no Helm's Deep analogue, the body count in A Lake Most Deep is really high. Battle size seems to be a tool that Howell uses to up the suspense. As the book goes on, stakes get higher and the fights get bigger. This is a good thing. Edward is an A list combatant, but he's not infallible and things get desperate at times. A little heart pounding action is good. 

Magic is scarce in Achrida. Other than some healing magic, we don't see much of it. There is a book talke about that might be magical in nature, but I'm kind of on the fence about that since we don't really see it directly in the story. I have no problem with this. I'm a Song of Ice and Fire fan, and there wasn't a whole lot of magic in the first couple books of that series. I really love what we've actually seen in the books there, too. Is there more magic in the rest of Howell's series? I don't know. I haven't read it. But that brings up an interesting point. 

A Lake Most Deep is clearly marked as Book One of the Firehalls Saga and I am impatiently waiting for book two which, it should be noted, does not appear as a related work on the Amazon page for ALMD. I checked. I was going to snatch the next one. I guess I'll just have to get over myself for a bit. Hopefully not too long, though. I'm kinda the impatient type.

Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Missing Books

A Lake Most Deep
Rob Howell
New Mythology Press, 2023

A Lake Most Deep is available for purchase at the following link. If you click the link and buy literally anything from Amazon, I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.

Hot Wheels Ultimate Challenge on NBC

Ok, so technically this isn't Science Fiction or Fantasy. But, I mean, it IS kind of Speculative Fiction, except it's not because it's real life, and well, honestly, SHUT UP YOU'RE CONFUSING ME!!

Listen guy. It's like the song (kinda/sorta if you can't hear right because your ears are plugged due to a cold) says: "It's my bloggie and I'll post if I want to. Post if I want to. Post if I want to. You would post too if it happened to you!" And, let's face it, I started this blog because I'm an annoying geek who likes to run his mouth about the stuff that he likes and I really like this show/

Ok, I hear you asking out there in internet-land: What show? It's a show called Hot Wheels: Ultimate Challenge and it's freaking amazeballs. Or maybe it's amazewheels? Amazetires? Listen, stop throwing this crap at me. It's three in the afternoon on my day off and I'm not scheduled to wake up until dinner time. I don't have the mental capacity to run my mouth if you're going to keep cutting me o...

Huh?

Just my imagination, huh? Yeah, I knew that. Seriously. Just joshin' ya. 

Or sumfin'

Okay, so I'm totally going to talk about the show now that I'm over two hundred words into this thing. I swear it.

So, here's how this goes. The show starts. We meet our hosts Rutledge Wood, Dalal Elsheikh, and Hertrech “Hert” Eugene Jr. and whoever else that week, and we meet out contestants. This is where things start to get really cool. I mean, Wood is a good guy and I loved his work on Top Gear but this show is, and really should be, about the contestants. And so we meet them and learn a little about who they are, why they love Hot Wheels (and who didn't when they were a kid) and what specific year, make and model of car they'll be working on, as well as why. The why can be very important, too. Whether it's because it was a car that they drove when they were having a hard time and driving someone to cancer treatment, or because it's the car they rode in while dating their late husband, or someone who grew up racing cars, it's all about them and their story and I like that about this show. 

There are a lot of game shows out there. But, when you're watching classic shows like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy, there usually isn't a whole lot of story to it. Here's the question/puzzle/whatever. Either you solve it or you don't. The story is basically about striving to win. But not so much in Hot Wheels: Ultimate Challenge. The story here is partially about the competition, but with the way they include the backgrounds to the cars, it's about the contestants in a way that a lot of other shows try to be but just aren't.

And then there are the cars themselves. The idea here is to take an actual vehicle and turn it into a new Hot Wheels car. The contestants and their teams (and trust me, the teams do most of the actual work and provide nearly all of the skill) get a week to turn real cars into real works of art using the Hot Wheels motif; over the top, overbuilt and just plain cool looking. Trust me, no one is going to win their week with a car from stock. They cut, chop, add, rebuild and just plain go crazy. HUGE engines, massive exhausts, wild paint schemes, etc are the rule of the day. 

And yes, there is a bit of a cheese factor. They've got a gas gauge displaying how much time is left in the build. They've got little vignettes of the teams/contestants freaking out when this or that aspect of the build isn't working right. They keep right on with the stories of the contestants talking about their ties to their car. And the judges are critiquing everything that happens. It may sound a bit overwrought, but it builds drama. Without tension there is no story and this is a series that is all about story. And what could be a better story than having your car turned into a real Hot Wheel that you can buy at the store? That is, after all, the grand prize. Well, that and some cash.  Money is good, too.

Of course, all of the newer shows feature a twist somewhere (I blame Jeff Probst and Mark Burnett) and Hot Wheels: Ultimate Challenge is no exception. About halfway through the week/show the contestants are stopped in their work and a car emerges from the Inspirationator 5000 (picture above behind Rutledge Wood) and the contestants are forced to rethink their designs to incorporate parts of that vehicle. It's always a good time watching them freak out. 

With Hot Wheels: Ultimate Challege being pre-taped (and heavily edited. They fit a week's work into sixty minutes) you'd think they'd accidentally telegraph who is going to win, but they don't. I've been surprised by a couple of the winners so far, and the finale doesn't conclude until next week. It's a two parter and, being a geek, I reserve the right to go into a total nerd rage and tell everyone how everything they ever did sucks if they pick the wrong winner. That's what geeks do. It's what we're good at.

But there's this, too: I'm a huge Survivor fan. I have been since Season One. One thing I don't necessarily like about Survivor though, especially it's earlier seasons, is the rancor between the contestants. I mean, they're playing for big stakes, but it's a game and people get butthurt. I'm not as big of a  Big Brother fan, but I remember that the same way. HWUC doesn't seem to have that, at least from what I can see on camera. The contestants come out, pour their hearts out and pretty much always shake hands afterward. HWUC is the type of show you can watch with your kids while you're teaching them about sportsmanship. Seriously, it's good wholesome fun.

And that's why only real beef with HWUC is its time slot and that's no reflection on the show itself, it's just frustrating. It comes on at ten o'clock, right after America's Got Talent and I feel like that's a little too late. HWUC is the type of thing I'd encourage parents of young kids to watch with their families. It's toys. It's fun. It's creative, It oozes with wholesomeness in a world where that type of thing is getting harder and harder to find. 

Needless to say, I'll be watching the second half of the finale on Tuesday night at ten. I still think it's crap that Lauren Partin didn't get into the finale, but it is what it is. I haven't torn anything down yet, but I'm not happy. Then again, it's not up to me, even if it should be. And the special guest judge is Jay Leno, so at least they've got a real car guy (and if you don't believe me on that, do some research) along for the ride. I can't wait. Oh, and here's hoping for a Season Two.

Bottom Line: 5.0 out of 5 Wildly Extended Tail Pipes

Hot Wheels Ultimate Challenge
Mattel Television, et al., 2023

Some Hot Wheels products are available at the following links. If you click a link and buy literally anything from Amazon I get a small percentage of the price at no additional cost to you.