Killing 2020 by Jim McCoy (sorta)

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 (If you don't get all of the references don't feel bad. I'm trying to get as many big fandoms in here, but there might be some more obscure ones mixed in. I'm not showing off. I belong to some smaller fandoms.) 

 

Admiral Adama stood up from behind his desk. "Colonel Tigh, set Condition One throughout the ship. Multiple Basestars are approaching." Adama turned his head. "Communications inform Captains Picard and Kirk to gather the Starfleet ships and rally at Cybertron. Use codeword 'Four Lights.' Optimus Prime and the Autobots will be waiting there for them. They have defeated the Decepticons and are available to deliver an ass-kicking." 

 

 A voice came from the back of the room. "Gorram, Admiral. I aim to misbehave. Where do you want me? " Adama nodded. "Captain Mal, you and Han Solo are needed to run the Imperial blockade. Retrieve the package from Arrakis. The Spice must flow. Leave Shepherd Book here. He and Father Mulcahy have other duties to attend to. We're going to need some major backup this time and they know where to get it." Adama looked thoughtful. "Get some salt to Sam and Dean. Drop it in the trunk of the Impala. They'll be useful as well." "

 

And what, precisely, are we fighting?" Adama spun around to see Minister of Magic Hermione Granger standing behind him. "Miss Granger! The target is the year 2020. It's at its weakest point and if we strike now we can end it. We're going to need to use some non-standard assets in this one. Contact all of your friends as well as Elminster, Raistlin and Melf. Tell them to hit hard with everything they've got. Some minute meteors in the right place can have a huge effect." 

 

"With all due respect, Admiral," Colonel Tigh's voice was harsh. "Those are more than just 'non-standard assets.' Their methods defy known science!" 

 

Adama lifted his glasses and pinched his nose. "You're right, so let's go with someone we can understand a bit better. Fire up the Hyperpulse Generator and contact Victor Davion, Jamie Wolf and Grayson Death Carlyle. Tell them to travel to Robinson to repel the Clan threat against the Draconis Combine. While you're at it, contact the Four Horsemen on Earth. Have Jim Cartwright gather up the troops and head into hyperspace to fight the.. uhh.. Things there." 

 

"Radiological warning!" 

 

Adama shrugged. "Admiral Harrington will deploy counter-missiles. Tell her to roll pods! The Grand Alliance will take care of this for us!" Adama's face distorted. Tigh screamed. The crew of the Battlestar Galactica began to panic as reality started to flicker. "That's it! We've done it! Voltron has broken through. 2020 is finished!" 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!