I'm a fan of the epic Science Fiction or Fantasy story. I always have been. I want to see Jim Kirk and friends save the galaxy for the four million and sixth time. I want to see the Heroes of the Lance charge in and defeat the evil goddess Takhisis and foil her attempt to take over the world of Krynn...
Yup, there's nothing like a good romp with a definable villain and some heroes that just want to beat the everloving tar out of them because they deserve it. I mean, who doesn't love that kind of story? (Okay, people who read romance but they're weird.) Then again, sometimes it's good to read something a little lighter. Every once in awhile, a feel good story works and removes all your cares... and entertains you if it's good enough.
Enter Jon Del Arroz and Gravity of the Game. It's a story about a baseball commissioner, a sick child and baseball on the moon. Yes, you read that right. Baseball on the moon. It's not really possible at first because of the gravitational differences between Earth and the Moon but hey, what's a story without a little conflict?
When Hideki Ichiro, retired baseball player and commissioner of all of professional baseball, decides he needs to expand his league, things get a little weird. He thinks expansion is necessary. All of his owners seem to think that expansion is necessary. The problem is over-saturation. Where do you put a team when there is nowhere left to put a team? How do you grow your sport when it fills up pretty much anywhere that the sport is consumed? It's a conundrum to be sure.
Of course, that's not the only problem. Commissioner Ichiro is not universally loved by his owners. There are some inter-league politics that make his life especially rough. Partially, his plan to expand on the moon is motivated by them. Partially, he just plain sees an open market. He just needs to make the physics work. And that's where the truly Science Fictional part of the story comes in.
I don't want to give too much away, but the title of the story ought to make it obvious that Ichiro has to find a way to either make baseball work in one-sixth of Earth's gravity or increase the gravitational attraction of the moon. I don't want to give away too much, but I'm thinking that most SF fans won't be too surprised at the solution he comes up with. It's pretty standard in damn near every SF story that takes place in space.
And that's one of the really cool parts of this novella. We get to be in on the ground floor so to speak. A lot of works reference similar tropes and we all accept them because they're what we're used to, but very rarely do we get to start at the beginning and see where they came from. I really got a kick out of that. I have a feeling a physics professor may experience a catastrophic meltdown if exposed to the concept, but honestly I got out of the sciences because I didn't like physics professors and their tendency to force everyone to follow their formulas instead of thinking. So kudos to Del Arroz and all of the other SF writers out there who were able to think instead of following some formula out of a book.
I really like Mr. Ichiro too. He does his best to promote the interests of the game, and that includes making teams more profitable, or at least keeping their revenue from shrinking to the extent possible. It's not just about that with him though. Somehow this always seems to get lost in modern day sports coverage. We obsess over a player's stats and his paycheck. We'll spend all day debating a manager's play-calls and trying to get him fired. We'll all talk trash about our favorite team's general manager (and I'm from Detroit where criticizing Randy Smith used to be a more popular pastime than watching Tigers games) when he makes a move that we think might be slightly sub-optimal. What no-one seems to talk about is the people in the league and how much they love the game.
But Del Arroz seems to get what it's all about. Ichiro is not just some money-grubbing executive out to make as much as he can. He genuinely cares about the game and what happens to it. Listen, we've all seen our favorite pitcher walk a batter and asked if he could have struck him out for another million. It happens, but in Gravity of the Game we're reminded that the guys we watch on television love baseball as much as we do. They've dedicated their lives to it and there was a lot of work put in before they got their first check. It's something to think about.
I'll be honest in stating that Gravity of the Game is quite a bit shorter than the books I typically review on my blog. I picked it up one day over lunch (I eat the vast majority of my meals alone) so that I would have something to read while I was eating. I was intrigued by the fact that I loved The Stars Entwined and also by the ninety-nine cent price point. I didn't want to spend a whole lot on a story that was only one meal long. I'm pretty glad I did though. It actually took me two meals to read and was a good time.
At the end of the day though Gravity of the Game is what it is. If you're the kind of person that only reads works overrun by explosions and severed body parts, you won't find them here. This is a good story with a real conflict but it's not solved with swords or bomb-pumped lasers. There is no fireball tossing wizard and you won't find a single phaser pistol in existence. On the other hand, if you're looking for something a little more laid back and relaxed with a solid plot and likeable characters, give Gravity of the Game a try. You'll be glad you did.
Bottom Line: 4.5 out of 5 Outside Strikes
Gravity of the Game
Jon Del Arroz
Superversive Press, 2017
Gravity of the Game is available for purchase at the following link:
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Friday, July 6, 2018
Daniel Humphreys's Night's Black Agents
One day soon I'm going to have to sit down and have a chat with one Mr. Daniel Humphreys. You see, Mr. Humphreys seems to enjoy messing with me by putting the best parts of the books right where I'm about to be interrupted. Now you, dear reader, may be tempted to tell me that Mr. Humphreys had no way to know during what part of his stories I would be interrupted while reading. Others out there may want to point out that even if he did, I am hardly his only reader and so why would he tailor everything to me? In response I can only state the obvious: I am the Great and Terrible Jimbo, sole possessor of Jimbosity and many other good things. My sheer amount of awesome and good looks is surpassed only by my incredible humility...
>AHEM< So, now that I've set all of your bullshit meters off... I received a copy of Daniel Humphreys's Night's Black Agents because I'm on his ARC team, so I get to review all of his stuff as soon as it comes out. Of course, it's always been my pleasure (all two times I've done it) because he writes really well. He gives us all some really believable characters and a world only slightly outside our own. Seriously, it's just far enough off to be interesting but close enough so that it all feels familiar. I really liked this one, in large part because of how well Humphreys blends the two worlds.
Our hero, once again, is Paxton Locke, budding mage and a Fade who can both see and communicate with ghosts. Locke is at war (and, despite my saying the same thing about my mother over some teenage spats this fits) with his mother Helen. Helen, you see, killed Paxton's father while Paxton watched. This was all covered in the first book Fade but it's worth repeating. It's not a fight he particularly wants. He's been forced into it by his mother who has broken out of prison and wants something that he has.
Helen Locke, for her part, is like a modern day female Raistlin Majere, only without the hourglass eyes and regret that saves the universe. She is four parts evil and no parts even tolerable. This is a woman who covets power for its own sake and will do whatever it takes to get it. She will lie, cheat, steal and murder. As a matter of fact, she has done all of the above and doesn't seem to be the slightest bit remorseful for any of it. I love to hate this chick. The only thing that I can kind of identify with about her is that she's chasing a rare book. Granted, it's a grimoire full of magic with potentially evil applications,but hey, it's a book, right?
Helen and her group of three followers make up a coven of witches that are actually pretty frightening. None of them are all that experienced in magic and mayhem but they more than make up for the lack with power and enthusiasm. These girls want to kick ass and they manage to do so. I can't help but wonder if a certain amount of subtlety might serve them better than just charging ahead seems to do, but that's how crass newbies act. They're dangerous enough already. If they actually get their poop in a group they're going to be horrifying effective. It's a good thing Paxton still has room to grow because things are looking rough for him in the near and far term future.
Of course, Paxton has friends too. The government agents in Division M are on Paxton's side. Well, for the most part. It's not like they actually TRUST him, but they damn sure don't like his mother so as long as he's up against her, they'll back him. Or maybe they'll use him, but whatever he needs the help. And if not everyone is who they seem to be, at least it's fun to watch him try to figure it out.
Of course, as far as Paxton knows, his mother isn't, and really shouldn't be, the main focus of his life. He finds out in the first chapter (or maybe two, I didn't take notes) that there are two missing young boys and that they've been taken by a cult. The cult appears to be out to sacrifice them. Mr. Locke, not wanting to see something terrible happen to two kids who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it, goes to their rescue. A large part of the book involves his search for them. He's not exactly clueless about the fact that his mother is looking for him. He just isn't focused on her because he has other things going on. He does realize that he has her grimoire and that she'll be looking for it but he has other things on his mind.
While I'm happy to say that this book features far less depravity than the first one, it is not without its fair share of mayhem and destruction. That's good though, because it just wouldn't be Paxton Locke without some blood (or maybe ichor) and gore at some point. Night's Black Agents, like Fade before it, has a very strong central conflict which can only be resolved though explosions and force blades and magicky stuff. (What's a force blade? Sorry, I can't tell you. I guess you'll have to buy the book to find out. I can tell you that it has nothing to do with Star Wars.) So, if you're a person who likes things that go BOOM, this is the book for you.
I can't really find anything to complain about. The book moves. The characters are believable. There really is never a chance to catch your breath, but that's a good thing. Humphreys switches back and forth between different point of view characters to always keep things fresh and moving forward. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind seeing this as a television/Netflix series once there are a few more books out. Humphreys's writing has an ability to consistently shift to wherever the action is that would work well on the small screen. I'd even hang on through the commercial break and make the sponsors happy.
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Ichor Splatters.
Night's Black Agents
Daniel Humphreys
Silver Empire, 2018
Night's Black Agents is available for purchase at the following link:
>AHEM< So, now that I've set all of your bullshit meters off... I received a copy of Daniel Humphreys's Night's Black Agents because I'm on his ARC team, so I get to review all of his stuff as soon as it comes out. Of course, it's always been my pleasure (all two times I've done it) because he writes really well. He gives us all some really believable characters and a world only slightly outside our own. Seriously, it's just far enough off to be interesting but close enough so that it all feels familiar. I really liked this one, in large part because of how well Humphreys blends the two worlds.
Our hero, once again, is Paxton Locke, budding mage and a Fade who can both see and communicate with ghosts. Locke is at war (and, despite my saying the same thing about my mother over some teenage spats this fits) with his mother Helen. Helen, you see, killed Paxton's father while Paxton watched. This was all covered in the first book Fade but it's worth repeating. It's not a fight he particularly wants. He's been forced into it by his mother who has broken out of prison and wants something that he has.
Helen Locke, for her part, is like a modern day female Raistlin Majere, only without the hourglass eyes and regret that saves the universe. She is four parts evil and no parts even tolerable. This is a woman who covets power for its own sake and will do whatever it takes to get it. She will lie, cheat, steal and murder. As a matter of fact, she has done all of the above and doesn't seem to be the slightest bit remorseful for any of it. I love to hate this chick. The only thing that I can kind of identify with about her is that she's chasing a rare book. Granted, it's a grimoire full of magic with potentially evil applications,but hey, it's a book, right?
Helen and her group of three followers make up a coven of witches that are actually pretty frightening. None of them are all that experienced in magic and mayhem but they more than make up for the lack with power and enthusiasm. These girls want to kick ass and they manage to do so. I can't help but wonder if a certain amount of subtlety might serve them better than just charging ahead seems to do, but that's how crass newbies act. They're dangerous enough already. If they actually get their poop in a group they're going to be horrifying effective. It's a good thing Paxton still has room to grow because things are looking rough for him in the near and far term future.
Of course, Paxton has friends too. The government agents in Division M are on Paxton's side. Well, for the most part. It's not like they actually TRUST him, but they damn sure don't like his mother so as long as he's up against her, they'll back him. Or maybe they'll use him, but whatever he needs the help. And if not everyone is who they seem to be, at least it's fun to watch him try to figure it out.
Of course, as far as Paxton knows, his mother isn't, and really shouldn't be, the main focus of his life. He finds out in the first chapter (or maybe two, I didn't take notes) that there are two missing young boys and that they've been taken by a cult. The cult appears to be out to sacrifice them. Mr. Locke, not wanting to see something terrible happen to two kids who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it, goes to their rescue. A large part of the book involves his search for them. He's not exactly clueless about the fact that his mother is looking for him. He just isn't focused on her because he has other things going on. He does realize that he has her grimoire and that she'll be looking for it but he has other things on his mind.
While I'm happy to say that this book features far less depravity than the first one, it is not without its fair share of mayhem and destruction. That's good though, because it just wouldn't be Paxton Locke without some blood (or maybe ichor) and gore at some point. Night's Black Agents, like Fade before it, has a very strong central conflict which can only be resolved though explosions and force blades and magicky stuff. (What's a force blade? Sorry, I can't tell you. I guess you'll have to buy the book to find out. I can tell you that it has nothing to do with Star Wars.) So, if you're a person who likes things that go BOOM, this is the book for you.
I can't really find anything to complain about. The book moves. The characters are believable. There really is never a chance to catch your breath, but that's a good thing. Humphreys switches back and forth between different point of view characters to always keep things fresh and moving forward. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind seeing this as a television/Netflix series once there are a few more books out. Humphreys's writing has an ability to consistently shift to wherever the action is that would work well on the small screen. I'd even hang on through the commercial break and make the sponsors happy.
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Ichor Splatters.
Night's Black Agents
Daniel Humphreys
Silver Empire, 2018
Night's Black Agents is available for purchase at the following link:
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Interview with Wendy S. Delmater regarding The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 1 anthology
(Blog Owner's Note: I'd like to say thank to Wendy Delmater for the following guest post. I have a copy of the anthology for the review and I'll have one out as soon as I can. This one has me excited. Maybe I'll be sending some stuff to Ms. Delmater ar some point as I am currently unpublished.)
I started working on The Best of A&A Volume 2 by keeping a list of my favorite stories we’d published since the first “Best Of” volume. There was an early story by Lavie Tidhar and a second novella that would not fit in Best of A&A 1—“Emmet, Joey & the Beelz”—but the rest were all published since the earlier A&A anthology. I ended up having to trim a story to two for the book-length and in one case had to drop a poem due to no longer being able to reach the author via email to send a contract. But the table of contents was pretty much that saved list, with two exceptions.
I’m in the habit of asking professional science fiction and fantasy authors if we could do reprints or get a flash-fiction piece from them since we pay pro rates for flash. That’s how Abyss & Apex ended up publishing Michael Swanwick, Ken Scholes, Jay Lake, and a story we reprinted in the antho by CJ Cherryh. Then, when I was out in Spokane, WA for the 2015 Worldcon I asked if Robert Silverberg had anything he’d not published online yet, specifically for Best of A&A 2. He sent me “End of Days,” which we used to close the anthology. But we don’t publish many pros.
You see, although A&A likes to pair new and emerging writers with established ones in the table of contents, which gives a vicarious boost to new writers’ careers, we cannot afford to pay pro rates for anything longer than flash fiction. Mostly, I’m stuck helping to make my authors into future pros via rewrites or at least getting them a publication credit that the pro markets respect. Shelia Williams of Asimov’s tells me she reads the cover letter last, and she says that she’s not surprised when she finds a good piece of fiction in her slush and they mention they’ve been published in Abyss & Apex.
A&A specializes in new writers. Twenty-five percent of the short stories we publish are the first thing that writer ever sold, and we’re proud of that record. For example many of the writers in The Best of A&A Volume 1 went on to great careers in SF& F, writers such as Aliette de Bodard, Lisa Mantchev, Will McIntosh, and Karl Bunker. And The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2, has early stories by Marie Brennan and Mercurio D. Rivera, plus people I consider potential future pros like George S. Walker.
Changing the focus slightly, I’d like to share a story about the cover art for the Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2. Since Abyss & Apex Magazine publishes half science fiction and half fantasy, our anthology covers are a mash-up of both genres. For example, Best of A&A 1 had an astronaut on the front cover and a knight in armor on the back cover—reflected in each other’s helmets. For The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2 we chose The Lady of the Lake receiving a sword from a robot. You get her underwater view of the robot on the back cover.
There was a bit of romance in the making of this book! As it was going to press I met, had a whirlwind courtship with, and married the love of my life at the age of 53. It sort of distracted me from the book launch, but he was kind enough to be one of the proofreaders. My husband Brian is now our webmaster.
We hope that this anthology, which has some stories not available at our online magazine, will continue to win Abyss & Apex new fans. And we look forward to publishing The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 3. You’re all going to love it.
- Wendy S Delmater, Editor
Abyss & Apex
The Best of Abyss and Apex Volume 2 is available at the following link.
https://www.amazon.com/Best-Abyss-Apex-Two-ebook/dp/B01M1UNYGT/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
I started working on The Best of A&A Volume 2 by keeping a list of my favorite stories we’d published since the first “Best Of” volume. There was an early story by Lavie Tidhar and a second novella that would not fit in Best of A&A 1—“Emmet, Joey & the Beelz”—but the rest were all published since the earlier A&A anthology. I ended up having to trim a story to two for the book-length and in one case had to drop a poem due to no longer being able to reach the author via email to send a contract. But the table of contents was pretty much that saved list, with two exceptions.
I’m in the habit of asking professional science fiction and fantasy authors if we could do reprints or get a flash-fiction piece from them since we pay pro rates for flash. That’s how Abyss & Apex ended up publishing Michael Swanwick, Ken Scholes, Jay Lake, and a story we reprinted in the antho by CJ Cherryh. Then, when I was out in Spokane, WA for the 2015 Worldcon I asked if Robert Silverberg had anything he’d not published online yet, specifically for Best of A&A 2. He sent me “End of Days,” which we used to close the anthology. But we don’t publish many pros.
You see, although A&A likes to pair new and emerging writers with established ones in the table of contents, which gives a vicarious boost to new writers’ careers, we cannot afford to pay pro rates for anything longer than flash fiction. Mostly, I’m stuck helping to make my authors into future pros via rewrites or at least getting them a publication credit that the pro markets respect. Shelia Williams of Asimov’s tells me she reads the cover letter last, and she says that she’s not surprised when she finds a good piece of fiction in her slush and they mention they’ve been published in Abyss & Apex.
A&A specializes in new writers. Twenty-five percent of the short stories we publish are the first thing that writer ever sold, and we’re proud of that record. For example many of the writers in The Best of A&A Volume 1 went on to great careers in SF& F, writers such as Aliette de Bodard, Lisa Mantchev, Will McIntosh, and Karl Bunker. And The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2, has early stories by Marie Brennan and Mercurio D. Rivera, plus people I consider potential future pros like George S. Walker.
Changing the focus slightly, I’d like to share a story about the cover art for the Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2. Since Abyss & Apex Magazine publishes half science fiction and half fantasy, our anthology covers are a mash-up of both genres. For example, Best of A&A 1 had an astronaut on the front cover and a knight in armor on the back cover—reflected in each other’s helmets. For The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 2 we chose The Lady of the Lake receiving a sword from a robot. You get her underwater view of the robot on the back cover.
There was a bit of romance in the making of this book! As it was going to press I met, had a whirlwind courtship with, and married the love of my life at the age of 53. It sort of distracted me from the book launch, but he was kind enough to be one of the proofreaders. My husband Brian is now our webmaster.
We hope that this anthology, which has some stories not available at our online magazine, will continue to win Abyss & Apex new fans. And we look forward to publishing The Best of Abyss & Apex, Volume 3. You’re all going to love it.
- Wendy S Delmater, Editor
Abyss & Apex
The Best of Abyss and Apex Volume 2 is available at the following link.
https://www.amazon.com/Best-Abyss-Apex-Two-ebook/dp/B01M1UNYGT/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Friday, June 29, 2018
Mark Wandrey's Cartwright's Cavaliers
(Edit 5/6/2019: The book is actually on sale for $5.99. It's not free currently. Everything else is accurate and I'm resharing because I can. Thanks!)
Me: Oh look, Cartwright's Cavaliers is going to be free all weekend. That's pretty cool.
Devil on My Shoulder: Oh, those evil, mean, hateful people. Didn't you just pay five dollars for that book like two weeks ago?
Me: Well, yeah, but...
Devil: But NOTHING!!!! We must have our revenge! Let it burn!!!
Angel on my Shoulder: You did pay for it, but let's face it. It was worth the five bucks. Actually, it was probably worth more than that. It was a really good book.
Me: That's true. I really enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, being a dude who has had some financial problems, watching Jim rise from the ashes and resurrect his father's business was kind of inspirational.
Devil: F that! We paid when we didn't have to.
Angel: Never mind you, devil. Aren't you a fan of violence for its own sake?
Devil: What has that got to do with anything?
Angel: You can't tell me you didn't enjoy the fight scenes. You can't tell me you didn't chuckle when all that stuff blew up.
Devil: Ok, yeah, that didn't suck. I still don't see why it's okay that we spent all that money.
Angel: And you can't tell me that the Adayn chick doesn't smell a little fishy to you.
Devil: Ok, she stinks. I'd think more brimstone and less fish though. She does have a sneaky feeling to her.
Angel: And listen, that space battle was hot, right. I mean, mass chaos death, screaming, no one knew what was going on.
Devil: Oh, okay, so I enjoy jacked up situations and that WAS a jacked up situation.
Angel: Oh, and Jim's mom was definitely one of yours, the way she screwed him and his whole company over and almost killed it. You know you loved that.
Devil: Yeah, it did make my day. I mean, how do you not love pure, self-centered evil like that? It was the greatest thing EV-AR! But there were soldiers in the book.
Angel: It's military science fiction, you knob. Of course there were soldiers in the book.
Devil: And they like worked together and stuff.
Angel: Mm-hmm. That's that soldiers do.
Devil: And some of the guys who helped Jim did it because they were still loyal to his dad and HIS DAD WAS DEAD!
Angel: Yeah, mortals are funny like that. They don't stop caring about each other just because one of them dies. Especially if it's someone they've fought and bled with.
Devil: I'm a devil jackass. I don't like it when people care about each other.
Angel: Oh, that's too bad. I mean, these guys work their tails off for each other. I was almost in tears when that cap...
Devil: I knew it. You're a wuss!
Angel: I know you liked that little Splunk thing.
Devil: You know, I have to have some respect for anything that looks that demonic. I mean, have you seen the stuffed animal version? She's a dead wringer for an imp! If only she had a bad attitude instead of acting like an animal companion in a Disney movie.
Angel: You know that Disney movies make hundreds of millions of dollars and are still watched decades later, right? And that they're so successful that people travel for thousands of miles and pay gobs of money to meet those same animal companions in “person?” And that they do it simply because they love them?
Devil: Huh?
Angel: And you can't tell me you that you don't want your very own pet Tortantula.
Devil: Heh. You know those things are cool. And they totally kick major ass. But what has that go to do with anything?
Angel: Never mind. Listen: You read this along with the rest of us right?
Devil: (snarky) Obviously, you dolt.
Angel: And now this is the second Four Horseman Universe book we've read, right? And we've reviewed both of them now too, right?
Devil: Yeah.
Angel: And we got the first one free even though that one was never offered for free to the public right?
Devil: Ok, yes. Come to the point will you?
Angel: Do you doubt for a single moment that the rest of the books are going to feature huge amounts of chaos and carnage?
Devil: Nope. Not at all. We're going to see lots of explosions. I can't wait. It's like it says in my favorite song. Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit...
Angel: I get it, guy. And we got this one sooner right?
Devil: Yeah. Unlike those slack-tards who didn't buy this thing up front.
Angel: So you're admitting that it was worth the five bucks to get it early?
Devil: No. It's FIVE STINKING DOLLARS!!
Angel: Ok, so what did you not like about the book?
Devil: I find it unrealistic that the mercs in the book would follow an obvious slug like Jim. I mean, he's a slug. These are guys who work their tails off to stay in shape to be better soldiers and all that guy does is eat pizza and drink Coke!
Angel: Uh, the book does show why they respect him. He earns it. And also, c'mon guy. Have you looked in the mirror lately? What else?
Devil: Uhhh... uhhh... Well, there's some mushy stuff.
Angel: C'mon guy. We already covered that. Is that really the best you've got? CAN YOU NOT COME STRONGER THAN THAT?
Devil: What's your point?
Angel: My point is that this book was five bones well spent.
Devil: Yeah, I guess it was.
Angel: Even if everyone else can get it for free for the next few days.
Devil: Now wait a minute...
Angel: Nope. I'm right. You're wrong.
Devil: Okay, so maybe you got one right on accident. Just this once. Don't think it'll ever happen again!
Angel: Oh, I'm sure it will. I'm an angel. You're just an a...
Me: That's enough you two.
Devil and Angel together: HMPH!
Me: Listen, we enjoyed Cartwright's Cavaliers so much we actually bought the sequel to it Asbaran Solutions. And we're not even sure that they won't put it up for free at some point.
Devil: WHAAAATTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Whacky Bloggers
Cartwright's Cavaliers
Mark Wandrey
Seventh Seal Press, 2017
Cartwright's Cavaliers is available for free from June 29 to July 1, 2018, and for purchase thereafter, at the following link:
Me: Oh look, Cartwright's Cavaliers is going to be free all weekend. That's pretty cool.
Devil on My Shoulder: Oh, those evil, mean, hateful people. Didn't you just pay five dollars for that book like two weeks ago?
Me: Well, yeah, but...
Devil: But NOTHING!!!! We must have our revenge! Let it burn!!!
Angel on my Shoulder: You did pay for it, but let's face it. It was worth the five bucks. Actually, it was probably worth more than that. It was a really good book.
Me: That's true. I really enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, being a dude who has had some financial problems, watching Jim rise from the ashes and resurrect his father's business was kind of inspirational.
Devil: F that! We paid when we didn't have to.
Angel: Never mind you, devil. Aren't you a fan of violence for its own sake?
Devil: What has that got to do with anything?
Angel: You can't tell me you didn't enjoy the fight scenes. You can't tell me you didn't chuckle when all that stuff blew up.
Devil: Ok, yeah, that didn't suck. I still don't see why it's okay that we spent all that money.
Angel: And you can't tell me that the Adayn chick doesn't smell a little fishy to you.
Devil: Ok, she stinks. I'd think more brimstone and less fish though. She does have a sneaky feeling to her.
Angel: And listen, that space battle was hot, right. I mean, mass chaos death, screaming, no one knew what was going on.
Devil: Oh, okay, so I enjoy jacked up situations and that WAS a jacked up situation.
Angel: Oh, and Jim's mom was definitely one of yours, the way she screwed him and his whole company over and almost killed it. You know you loved that.
Devil: Yeah, it did make my day. I mean, how do you not love pure, self-centered evil like that? It was the greatest thing EV-AR! But there were soldiers in the book.
Angel: It's military science fiction, you knob. Of course there were soldiers in the book.
Devil: And they like worked together and stuff.
Angel: Mm-hmm. That's that soldiers do.
Devil: And some of the guys who helped Jim did it because they were still loyal to his dad and HIS DAD WAS DEAD!
Angel: Yeah, mortals are funny like that. They don't stop caring about each other just because one of them dies. Especially if it's someone they've fought and bled with.
Devil: I'm a devil jackass. I don't like it when people care about each other.
Angel: Oh, that's too bad. I mean, these guys work their tails off for each other. I was almost in tears when that cap...
Devil: I knew it. You're a wuss!
Angel: I know you liked that little Splunk thing.
Devil: You know, I have to have some respect for anything that looks that demonic. I mean, have you seen the stuffed animal version? She's a dead wringer for an imp! If only she had a bad attitude instead of acting like an animal companion in a Disney movie.
Angel: You know that Disney movies make hundreds of millions of dollars and are still watched decades later, right? And that they're so successful that people travel for thousands of miles and pay gobs of money to meet those same animal companions in “person?” And that they do it simply because they love them?
Devil: Huh?
Angel: And you can't tell me you that you don't want your very own pet Tortantula.
Devil: Heh. You know those things are cool. And they totally kick major ass. But what has that go to do with anything?
Angel: Never mind. Listen: You read this along with the rest of us right?
Devil: (snarky) Obviously, you dolt.
Angel: And now this is the second Four Horseman Universe book we've read, right? And we've reviewed both of them now too, right?
Devil: Yeah.
Angel: And we got the first one free even though that one was never offered for free to the public right?
Devil: Ok, yes. Come to the point will you?
Angel: Do you doubt for a single moment that the rest of the books are going to feature huge amounts of chaos and carnage?
Devil: Nope. Not at all. We're going to see lots of explosions. I can't wait. It's like it says in my favorite song. Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit...
Angel: I get it, guy. And we got this one sooner right?
Devil: Yeah. Unlike those slack-tards who didn't buy this thing up front.
Angel: So you're admitting that it was worth the five bucks to get it early?
Devil: No. It's FIVE STINKING DOLLARS!!
Angel: Ok, so what did you not like about the book?
Devil: I find it unrealistic that the mercs in the book would follow an obvious slug like Jim. I mean, he's a slug. These are guys who work their tails off to stay in shape to be better soldiers and all that guy does is eat pizza and drink Coke!
Angel: Uh, the book does show why they respect him. He earns it. And also, c'mon guy. Have you looked in the mirror lately? What else?
Devil: Uhhh... uhhh... Well, there's some mushy stuff.
Angel: C'mon guy. We already covered that. Is that really the best you've got? CAN YOU NOT COME STRONGER THAN THAT?
Devil: What's your point?
Angel: My point is that this book was five bones well spent.
Devil: Yeah, I guess it was.
Angel: Even if everyone else can get it for free for the next few days.
Devil: Now wait a minute...
Angel: Nope. I'm right. You're wrong.
Devil: Okay, so maybe you got one right on accident. Just this once. Don't think it'll ever happen again!
Angel: Oh, I'm sure it will. I'm an angel. You're just an a...
Me: That's enough you two.
Devil and Angel together: HMPH!
Me: Listen, we enjoyed Cartwright's Cavaliers so much we actually bought the sequel to it Asbaran Solutions. And we're not even sure that they won't put it up for free at some point.
Devil: WHAAAATTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Whacky Bloggers
Cartwright's Cavaliers
Mark Wandrey
Seventh Seal Press, 2017
Cartwright's Cavaliers is available for free from June 29 to July 1, 2018, and for purchase thereafter, at the following link:
Friday, June 15, 2018
Brent Weeks's The Broken Eye
When I first sat down to write this review, I was trying to decide whether Brent Weeks was a totally freaking awesome author or just a big, evil meaniehead who got his kicks from torturing his sweet, innocent readers. Then I realized that the two are not mutually exclusive. It's obviously both. I shall, for the nonce, embrace the power of “and.” Then again, we must enjoy it. How else would this guy have sold elebenty bajillion books?
So, yes, I'm behind but I finally got around to reading The Broken Eye and it was freaking epic. Weeks has a way of bringing the mighty low and promoting the weak to power. It's hard to follow sometimes but it's on full display here. The all powerful Prism, with his powers taken from him, is now a galley slave. The son of a drug addicted prostitute is elevated to one of the highest posts in all the Seven Satrapies. I mean seriously, keep a scorecard. Or better yet don't because Weeks has provided one for us in the back of the book. It's like one hundred pages long. But it's cool because a story this huge needs a big cast.
One of the great things about The Broken Eye is how the characters remain themselves throughout everything. Gavin Guile, fallen Prism, now plots to get home instead of to rule the Seven Satrapies. Karris White Oak, scion of a destroyed noble family, marries him and consorts with a member of the Spectrum, the ruling body of the Seven Satrapies. Kip, the kid who grew up poor, now stands to inherit a fortune and the political power that goes with it. Teia, a slave, trains to be part of the Blackguard, a unit of elite bodyguards and the only group allowed to carry arms in the capital. The list goes on.
Weeks knows how to write a hero. Kip is self-doubting but doesn't give up. He nearly dies because of his sheer stubbornness and dedication. Teia does what she must, even though she hates the necessity of some of it. Cruxer, leader of a squad of Blackguard inductees makes decisions and lives with them. He knows how to balance the good of his people with the missions they have to accomplish. Karris White Oak risks her l;ife to save her husband and leaves everything that ever mattered to her behind to follow a new path, a duty she never sought but is forced to undertake.
Weeks also knows how to write a villain. The Color Prince seeks to enslave all around him by telling them they'll be free after he takes over. Andross Guile is the embodiment of self-interest, pushing forward with his goals and the expense of anyone who gets in his way. Seriously, to Andross there are three types of people; those he can use to further his goals, those in the way of his goals and those that don't matter. He's a villain's villain. I love to hate that guy.
The Broken Eye is like every other Brent Weeks book in one respect: The reader cannot allow himself to become comfortable with the way the story is going. Everytime you think things are going to work out a certain way a plot twist hits. Upon reflection they make sense, but you can never see them coming. Reading is one of my favorite forms of physical relaxation. I kick back, put my fee up and crack open a tome. I don't relax mentally when I read Weeks's work. I'm constantly trying to figure out what comes next. It never seems to work but it definitely keeps me interested.
The action sequences in The Broken Eye are amazeballs. Luxin (light turned tangible through magic) is an amazing weapon and the martial arts present here are crazy too. Primitive guns, blades and magic. You just can't go wrong. Well, maybe you could be Weeks didn't. Some of these sequences made me want to go out and hit something just to fit in.
Ok, so the actions of the Spectrum do kind of piss me off, but that's kind of the point. They're so busy denying the fact that they are at war that they won't fight an enemy that is invading their country and killing their people. They're pretty typical politicians in other words. Say soothing things to the population and do nothing to accomplish anything. I have to believe that Weeks is doing this intentionally. They do manage to appoint Andross Guile as promachos (basically a wartime dictator and leader of armies) but then he basically does nothing as well. In actuality, they do manage to throw a big party for their biggest holiday so I guess that's SOMEthing, even if it's the WRONG thing. But what do I know? I'm just the reader.
On the other side of the equation are some of our aforementioned heroes who want to do what they need to. The problem is that they don't have the political power to raise the necessary army themselves and, while some of them are crazy powerful, they don't have the ability to win the war without one. The other side has lots of powerful people too. This war is going to be a battle royale, if the Spectrum ever gets off of their asses and decides to fight it.
Honestly, I wanted to see more of the war than I did. Bad news arrives occasionally, but we don't get to see the fight up close and personal the way I wanted to. It makes sense given the plot of the book, but it's a bit frustrating. A lot of what I enjoy about fantasy fiction is the fighting and the wars. We don't get that here. It's still an awesome book though, and there is a sequel already out.
It's only fair to mention that The Broken Eye is third in a series. The first two were The Black Prism and The Blinding Knife. I recommend them all (and I'm reading the fourth book, The Blood Mirror, currently) but I would not recommend The Broken Eye as a standalone. There is too much going on here that is carried on from earlier books. Seriously, if you're going to read TBE start at the beginning with The Black Prism. You'll thank me later.
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Lightforged Arrows
The Broken Eye
Brent Weeks
Orbit Books, 2014
The Broken Eye is available for purchase at the following link:
So, yes, I'm behind but I finally got around to reading The Broken Eye and it was freaking epic. Weeks has a way of bringing the mighty low and promoting the weak to power. It's hard to follow sometimes but it's on full display here. The all powerful Prism, with his powers taken from him, is now a galley slave. The son of a drug addicted prostitute is elevated to one of the highest posts in all the Seven Satrapies. I mean seriously, keep a scorecard. Or better yet don't because Weeks has provided one for us in the back of the book. It's like one hundred pages long. But it's cool because a story this huge needs a big cast.
One of the great things about The Broken Eye is how the characters remain themselves throughout everything. Gavin Guile, fallen Prism, now plots to get home instead of to rule the Seven Satrapies. Karris White Oak, scion of a destroyed noble family, marries him and consorts with a member of the Spectrum, the ruling body of the Seven Satrapies. Kip, the kid who grew up poor, now stands to inherit a fortune and the political power that goes with it. Teia, a slave, trains to be part of the Blackguard, a unit of elite bodyguards and the only group allowed to carry arms in the capital. The list goes on.
Weeks knows how to write a hero. Kip is self-doubting but doesn't give up. He nearly dies because of his sheer stubbornness and dedication. Teia does what she must, even though she hates the necessity of some of it. Cruxer, leader of a squad of Blackguard inductees makes decisions and lives with them. He knows how to balance the good of his people with the missions they have to accomplish. Karris White Oak risks her l;ife to save her husband and leaves everything that ever mattered to her behind to follow a new path, a duty she never sought but is forced to undertake.
Weeks also knows how to write a villain. The Color Prince seeks to enslave all around him by telling them they'll be free after he takes over. Andross Guile is the embodiment of self-interest, pushing forward with his goals and the expense of anyone who gets in his way. Seriously, to Andross there are three types of people; those he can use to further his goals, those in the way of his goals and those that don't matter. He's a villain's villain. I love to hate that guy.
The Broken Eye is like every other Brent Weeks book in one respect: The reader cannot allow himself to become comfortable with the way the story is going. Everytime you think things are going to work out a certain way a plot twist hits. Upon reflection they make sense, but you can never see them coming. Reading is one of my favorite forms of physical relaxation. I kick back, put my fee up and crack open a tome. I don't relax mentally when I read Weeks's work. I'm constantly trying to figure out what comes next. It never seems to work but it definitely keeps me interested.
The action sequences in The Broken Eye are amazeballs. Luxin (light turned tangible through magic) is an amazing weapon and the martial arts present here are crazy too. Primitive guns, blades and magic. You just can't go wrong. Well, maybe you could be Weeks didn't. Some of these sequences made me want to go out and hit something just to fit in.
Ok, so the actions of the Spectrum do kind of piss me off, but that's kind of the point. They're so busy denying the fact that they are at war that they won't fight an enemy that is invading their country and killing their people. They're pretty typical politicians in other words. Say soothing things to the population and do nothing to accomplish anything. I have to believe that Weeks is doing this intentionally. They do manage to appoint Andross Guile as promachos (basically a wartime dictator and leader of armies) but then he basically does nothing as well. In actuality, they do manage to throw a big party for their biggest holiday so I guess that's SOMEthing, even if it's the WRONG thing. But what do I know? I'm just the reader.
On the other side of the equation are some of our aforementioned heroes who want to do what they need to. The problem is that they don't have the political power to raise the necessary army themselves and, while some of them are crazy powerful, they don't have the ability to win the war without one. The other side has lots of powerful people too. This war is going to be a battle royale, if the Spectrum ever gets off of their asses and decides to fight it.
Honestly, I wanted to see more of the war than I did. Bad news arrives occasionally, but we don't get to see the fight up close and personal the way I wanted to. It makes sense given the plot of the book, but it's a bit frustrating. A lot of what I enjoy about fantasy fiction is the fighting and the wars. We don't get that here. It's still an awesome book though, and there is a sequel already out.
It's only fair to mention that The Broken Eye is third in a series. The first two were The Black Prism and The Blinding Knife. I recommend them all (and I'm reading the fourth book, The Blood Mirror, currently) but I would not recommend The Broken Eye as a standalone. There is too much going on here that is carried on from earlier books. Seriously, if you're going to read TBE start at the beginning with The Black Prism. You'll thank me later.
Bottom Line: 4.75 out of 5 Lightforged Arrows
The Broken Eye
Brent Weeks
Orbit Books, 2014
The Broken Eye is available for purchase at the following link:
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Lucasfilm's SOLO: A Star Wars Story
Right, so let's just put this out there: I didn't go see SOLO: A Star Wars Story right away because I thought it would suck. One of the writers came out and talked about Lando Calrissian being a pansexual. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against people being paansexual if that's what's natural for them. I'm not against pansexuals being portrayed in movies or books or on TV, whatever. What freaked me out was that they were bragging about it. Whenever I'm lectured about diversity and inclusivity I assume that I'm being told that I have to see a shitty movie because I'll be some kind of -ist or -phobe if I don't. Don't think I'm right? Two words: Ghostbusters reboot. 'Nuff said.
That much being said, I kind of wish I had gone sooner. This was a good movie. I'm going to make a comparison here. Some of you are going to be turned off by it, but it's valid, I think. Think about the Star Wars prequels. Okay, I'll wait while you stop swearing. Ready?
Listen, we all hated The Phantom Menace. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is not supposed to be a little goofball. Jar Jar Binks was annoying. The plot meandered and in a lot of ways the movie was more about cool stunts by Industrial Light and Magic than the story. Attack of the Clones was a love story. Actually, it was a creepy love story. Padme was so much older than Anakin that it shouldn't have worked. Star Wars is about wars, not lovers. And again, special effects were more important than the plot. If you remember the beginning and the car chase through Coruscant, it was sweet looking. What it didn't do was a whole lot to move things forward. But let's stop for a second and talk about Revenge of the Sith. What were the complaints about that? I don't remember tany. People weren't up in arms about that one.
Revenge of the Sith did what it set out to do. It was the true origin story of Darth Vader. The first two movies were pretty much fluff and filler, but ROTS was a good flick. Yes, it was a special effects extravaganza. Star Wars always has been. The thing was, it was a good story. We found out what happened to Luke and Leia's mother. We saw why Darth Vader ended up in a bionic body and couldn't breathe right. We watched the Jedi fall and Yoda exile himself to Dagobah. We found out why Obi Wan Kenobi lived near Luke. It wasn't perfect. Nothing made by a human ever is. It was pretty close, though.
SOLO: A Star Wars Story is like that, only better. This movie harkens back to A New Hope. SOLO is probably the best SW movie since Return of the Jedi. There is so much in this movie. I don't want to spoil too much, but pretty much everything you wanted to know about Han Solo is in this movie. He meets Chewie. He meets Lando Calrissian and gets the Millenium Falcon. He becomes an outlaw. We even find out how it makes sense that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. I mean, it's a bit goofy, but it makes sense and it's Han Freaking Solo. This is Mr. "Never tell me the odds." In context it really does work. OH, and we get to see who shot first in another context. I like it.
For the record, I can't seem to think of a better word for Lando than pansexual. It makes sense. It moves the plot forward. I don't want to get into exactly why I say this, because it's too big of a spoiler, but it works. It also makes Lando even more interested in keeping his ship. In a way, it makes what happens in Cloud City make sense. Emotion often clouds human judgment. I can't think of a better way to hurt a man and make him angry.
Alden Ehrenreich makes a good Han Solo. Look, he's not Harrison Ford. No one _is_ Harrison Ford, except Harrison Ford. But Harrison Ford isn't quite as young as he was in nineteen seventy-seven. They needed someone new and they found him. Ehrenreich did a damn good job of portraying the Solo character. He didn't have all of Ford's mannerisms but he's not Ford. It works.
Donald Glover actually plays a better Lando Calrissian than Billy Dee Williams did. He's just got this awesome vibe. He's so relaxed in his element and he's an awesome pilot/owner of the Falcon. His love affair is believable when it probably shouldn't be. I really got into his character. Let's be honest here. Lando was really a minor character in the original trilogy. In SOLO he takes second place only to Han himself. He gets a lot of screen time. He earns it. I'd hate to say that he steals the show at times, but well, he does. is a hell of an actor. I want to see more of him. I know that SOLO is a standalone but maybe we could see him starring in something else. I'd pay to see it. I'm just sayin'. A quick look at IMDB shows Glover in a lot of movies, but I'd like to see him in a starring role.
Of course, it's not a perfect movie. Han seems to be a bit more naive than I thought he would be. Granted, he fell for Leia pretty quick in the original trilogy but the way effects him in this movie is crazy. He follows her into a situation that quite frankly doesn't make any sense. This guy's name is Solo because he's a loner. This is the guy that rescued Leia for money to pay off his debts. Han Solo is not Mister Nice Guy. I don't know if I like that part of the plot. Also, we had never heard of fuel in Star Wars until The Last Jedi. This film centers around it. The Kessel Run turns out to be about getting unrefined fuel. The whole thing is centered on a substance that no one knew existed through the first four decades of the franchise. I find that to be a bit annoying, even if I didn't have a problem believing it. All in all though, the film was a good time. It's a popcorn flick and it delivers that feeling of fun.
Bottom Line: 4.5 out of 5 Blaster Bolts
SOLO: A Star Wars Story
Lucasfilm, 2018
Some SOLO: A Star Wars Story related merchandise is available at the links below.
That much being said, I kind of wish I had gone sooner. This was a good movie. I'm going to make a comparison here. Some of you are going to be turned off by it, but it's valid, I think. Think about the Star Wars prequels. Okay, I'll wait while you stop swearing. Ready?
Listen, we all hated The Phantom Menace. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is not supposed to be a little goofball. Jar Jar Binks was annoying. The plot meandered and in a lot of ways the movie was more about cool stunts by Industrial Light and Magic than the story. Attack of the Clones was a love story. Actually, it was a creepy love story. Padme was so much older than Anakin that it shouldn't have worked. Star Wars is about wars, not lovers. And again, special effects were more important than the plot. If you remember the beginning and the car chase through Coruscant, it was sweet looking. What it didn't do was a whole lot to move things forward. But let's stop for a second and talk about Revenge of the Sith. What were the complaints about that? I don't remember tany. People weren't up in arms about that one.
Revenge of the Sith did what it set out to do. It was the true origin story of Darth Vader. The first two movies were pretty much fluff and filler, but ROTS was a good flick. Yes, it was a special effects extravaganza. Star Wars always has been. The thing was, it was a good story. We found out what happened to Luke and Leia's mother. We saw why Darth Vader ended up in a bionic body and couldn't breathe right. We watched the Jedi fall and Yoda exile himself to Dagobah. We found out why Obi Wan Kenobi lived near Luke. It wasn't perfect. Nothing made by a human ever is. It was pretty close, though.
SOLO: A Star Wars Story is like that, only better. This movie harkens back to A New Hope. SOLO is probably the best SW movie since Return of the Jedi. There is so much in this movie. I don't want to spoil too much, but pretty much everything you wanted to know about Han Solo is in this movie. He meets Chewie. He meets Lando Calrissian and gets the Millenium Falcon. He becomes an outlaw. We even find out how it makes sense that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs. I mean, it's a bit goofy, but it makes sense and it's Han Freaking Solo. This is Mr. "Never tell me the odds." In context it really does work. OH, and we get to see who shot first in another context. I like it.
For the record, I can't seem to think of a better word for Lando than pansexual. It makes sense. It moves the plot forward. I don't want to get into exactly why I say this, because it's too big of a spoiler, but it works. It also makes Lando even more interested in keeping his ship. In a way, it makes what happens in Cloud City make sense. Emotion often clouds human judgment. I can't think of a better way to hurt a man and make him angry.
Alden Ehrenreich makes a good Han Solo. Look, he's not Harrison Ford. No one _is_ Harrison Ford, except Harrison Ford. But Harrison Ford isn't quite as young as he was in nineteen seventy-seven. They needed someone new and they found him. Ehrenreich did a damn good job of portraying the Solo character. He didn't have all of Ford's mannerisms but he's not Ford. It works.
Donald Glover actually plays a better Lando Calrissian than Billy Dee Williams did. He's just got this awesome vibe. He's so relaxed in his element and he's an awesome pilot/owner of the Falcon. His love affair is believable when it probably shouldn't be. I really got into his character. Let's be honest here. Lando was really a minor character in the original trilogy. In SOLO he takes second place only to Han himself. He gets a lot of screen time. He earns it. I'd hate to say that he steals the show at times, but well, he does. is a hell of an actor. I want to see more of him. I know that SOLO is a standalone but maybe we could see him starring in something else. I'd pay to see it. I'm just sayin'. A quick look at IMDB shows Glover in a lot of movies, but I'd like to see him in a starring role.
Of course, it's not a perfect movie. Han seems to be a bit more naive than I thought he would be. Granted, he fell for Leia pretty quick in the original trilogy but the way effects him in this movie is crazy. He follows her into a situation that quite frankly doesn't make any sense. This guy's name is Solo because he's a loner. This is the guy that rescued Leia for money to pay off his debts. Han Solo is not Mister Nice Guy. I don't know if I like that part of the plot. Also, we had never heard of fuel in Star Wars until The Last Jedi. This film centers around it. The Kessel Run turns out to be about getting unrefined fuel. The whole thing is centered on a substance that no one knew existed through the first four decades of the franchise. I find that to be a bit annoying, even if I didn't have a problem believing it. All in all though, the film was a good time. It's a popcorn flick and it delivers that feeling of fun.
Bottom Line: 4.5 out of 5 Blaster Bolts
SOLO: A Star Wars Story
Lucasfilm, 2018
Some SOLO: A Star Wars Story related merchandise is available at the links below.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Chuck Wendig, False Accusations of Racism and Leftist BS
(Screen shots of Chuck Wendigs comments can be found at this link.)
My friends, I have a confession to make. Whenever I hear a cast or crew member (or a director if he's not part of the crew, I always get confused about that) come out with an announcement about a character's sexuality and/or status as a trans person and/or talking about "representation" in a film I assume it's because they're trying to lay a guilt trip on all of us. Think about the Ghostbusters reboot that we were supposed to see, not because it was a good movie, but so our daughters could "have their own heroes." As long as there is a good story behind a film, I'm all about it. But in too many cases, I think Hollywood has mistaken "inclusive" for "entertaining." I don't go to a movie to see "inclusion." I have a limited amount of money and I worked sixty-five hours last week. I spend my time and money on your product because I want to escape for a couple hours. A good story helps me do that.
That's not to say that inclusion is a bad thing. Black Panther was inclusive as all hell and it was one of the best Marvel movies up to this point. Wonder Woman was an excellent flick and had a female main character. Of course, action movies in general have had black leads for decades. Just ask Wesley Snipes and Will Smith how they spent the Nineties. The Star Trek franchise, especially the original series, was inclusive when inclusive was still referred to as "integrated," and it's been a favorite of mine since before I learned to walk. They were good stories and I enjoyed them all.
It's just that when I hear a Hollywood insider bragging about how inclusive their movie is I assume that it sucks. When they start bragging about things other than the plot and the characters, I start assuming that they're either
A.) Looking for an excuse as to why the movie bombed ahead of time
OR
B.) Trying to keep it from bombing by telling us all that we're either an -ist or a -phobe if we don't go see it and therefore attempting to force us to buy tickets.
OR
C.) Hopefully B but maybe A. This is probably the most common reason.
That's why I waited to go see Black Panther (It was a damn good movie. See my review.) and also why I hesitated to see Solo: A Star Wars Story. When writer Jonathan Kasdan came out stating that Lando was I just assumed that what I just talked about was happening. Looking back on it, I guess it was inevitable that people would talk about skin color and the cast of Black Panther but I was hesitant there for the same reason. In both cases, I waited to see what other people would say after they saw the movie before I went. In the case of both movies ninety plus percent of the people I know who saw it loved it and I, therefore, went to see them. In the case of Ghostbusters I can't remember a single person who said they like it after they saw it and I haven't see it. I didn't go see it at the theater. I haven't rented it. I don't plan to. If Hollywood wants my money for an inclusive movie they can have it IF they can make a good movie, that I want to see.
All of this leads me to Chuck Wendig's little hissy fit. Apparently, anyone who didn't like The Last Jedi or hasn't seen SOLO is, indeed, an -ist or a -phobe. The audience didn't hate TLJ because of the extreme stupidity of some of the characters or because they ruined Luke Skywalker for us. They hated it because the characters had different skin colors and the main character was female. Listen guys, I've had enough of the lying here. I'm going to lay it out for you.
Yes racism still exists. No, it should not. Not everything that happens is good. That much being said, it's not the be-all, end-all reason that everything happens. Really. Are there some people that hated TLJ because it had a mixed cast? I'm sure there are. I haven't met, talked or electronically corresponded with any, but I'm sure they're out there. I already admitted that racism happens. The thing is that we're talking about a very small percentage of the fan base here.
And yes, I'm aware of the harassment suffered by Kelly Marie Tran. Some assholes ran her off of social media. That's exactly what they are: Assholes. That doesn't make them racists (Yes, all racists are assholes, but not all assholes are racist) and it doesn't make them misogynist. I had no problem with the Rose character, but a lot of people did. They were too stupid to separate a character from the actress who played her. Harassment is illegal and Tico would be perfectly justified in taking some type of legal action but don't mistake straight up trolling for racism. Sometimes an asshole really is just an asshole. And, for those out there who missed the entire point of this paragraph, no it was not okay that those assholes harassed Tran.
The problem like Wendig and others like him is that they live in a world where what succeeds should depend on how well if supports their political beliefs and not whether or not it's a quality movie. Listen folks, it doesn't work that way. For one, not everyone believes as you do. For another, you haven't reached the level of political power where you can force people to watch something just because you told them to. This is still the United States and not Panem. There is no such thing as required viewing.
And yes, you are lying when you try to make everything about racial hatred. It is possible to dislike something a non-white (or not-male, or-non straight, or non-cis) person did on its own merits and not because you hate them for being what they are. Really. It's even possible to like something that a non-white, or non-male or non straight or non-cis person did and not like it just because they fit into that category as well. Seriously. I loved Doogie Howser as a kid and How I Met Your Mother as an adult. Barney Stinson is the man. I'm a Neil Patrick Harris fan. No, it's not because he's gay. It's because he's a good actor. That's the way it should be.
Yes, modern social theory does say that we should seek out -isms and -phobias in all of their forms, but you're forgetting that there is something called confirmation bias. Basically, and this applies to all human beings including myself, if a person expects to find something they will. If a person expects to find racism they'll find it. If a person expects to find sexism, they'll find it. If a person expects to see evidence that the other side is over-reacting to something because they perceive something as an -ism when it's not they'll find that too. I'm not perfect but at least I acknowledge my biases and try to work around them. Those of you out there who like to label everyone they disagree with as an -ist don't bother. We're all the same to you and any objection to your ideas means hate, at least as far as you're concerned.
Star Trek is a cultural icon. In a society where flashes in the pan are common it has thrived for over fifty years now. It was the first integrated show. It featured the first interracial kiss. It has tackled ideas like racism, sexism and environmentalism for decades. If you don't think that having a bridge crew featuring white men, a black woman and an Asian man was cutting edge in 1967 then you really need to take a history class. The reason that it works is not that it supports those ideas. The reason it has succeeded is because it is entertaining. If you want to get your point across you need to chill on the screaming hatred and finger pointing and work on putting a quality product together because we're not going to buy your crap just because you yell -ist. Nor do we care if you're offended.
My friends, I have a confession to make. Whenever I hear a cast or crew member (or a director if he's not part of the crew, I always get confused about that) come out with an announcement about a character's sexuality and/or status as a trans person and/or talking about "representation" in a film I assume it's because they're trying to lay a guilt trip on all of us. Think about the Ghostbusters reboot that we were supposed to see, not because it was a good movie, but so our daughters could "have their own heroes." As long as there is a good story behind a film, I'm all about it. But in too many cases, I think Hollywood has mistaken "inclusive" for "entertaining." I don't go to a movie to see "inclusion." I have a limited amount of money and I worked sixty-five hours last week. I spend my time and money on your product because I want to escape for a couple hours. A good story helps me do that.
That's not to say that inclusion is a bad thing. Black Panther was inclusive as all hell and it was one of the best Marvel movies up to this point. Wonder Woman was an excellent flick and had a female main character. Of course, action movies in general have had black leads for decades. Just ask Wesley Snipes and Will Smith how they spent the Nineties. The Star Trek franchise, especially the original series, was inclusive when inclusive was still referred to as "integrated," and it's been a favorite of mine since before I learned to walk. They were good stories and I enjoyed them all.
It's just that when I hear a Hollywood insider bragging about how inclusive their movie is I assume that it sucks. When they start bragging about things other than the plot and the characters, I start assuming that they're either
A.) Looking for an excuse as to why the movie bombed ahead of time
OR
B.) Trying to keep it from bombing by telling us all that we're either an -ist or a -phobe if we don't go see it and therefore attempting to force us to buy tickets.
OR
C.) Hopefully B but maybe A. This is probably the most common reason.
That's why I waited to go see Black Panther (It was a damn good movie. See my review.) and also why I hesitated to see Solo: A Star Wars Story. When writer Jonathan Kasdan came out stating that Lando was I just assumed that what I just talked about was happening. Looking back on it, I guess it was inevitable that people would talk about skin color and the cast of Black Panther but I was hesitant there for the same reason. In both cases, I waited to see what other people would say after they saw the movie before I went. In the case of both movies ninety plus percent of the people I know who saw it loved it and I, therefore, went to see them. In the case of Ghostbusters I can't remember a single person who said they like it after they saw it and I haven't see it. I didn't go see it at the theater. I haven't rented it. I don't plan to. If Hollywood wants my money for an inclusive movie they can have it IF they can make a good movie, that I want to see.
All of this leads me to Chuck Wendig's little hissy fit. Apparently, anyone who didn't like The Last Jedi or hasn't seen SOLO is, indeed, an -ist or a -phobe. The audience didn't hate TLJ because of the extreme stupidity of some of the characters or because they ruined Luke Skywalker for us. They hated it because the characters had different skin colors and the main character was female. Listen guys, I've had enough of the lying here. I'm going to lay it out for you.
Yes racism still exists. No, it should not. Not everything that happens is good. That much being said, it's not the be-all, end-all reason that everything happens. Really. Are there some people that hated TLJ because it had a mixed cast? I'm sure there are. I haven't met, talked or electronically corresponded with any, but I'm sure they're out there. I already admitted that racism happens. The thing is that we're talking about a very small percentage of the fan base here.
And yes, I'm aware of the harassment suffered by Kelly Marie Tran. Some assholes ran her off of social media. That's exactly what they are: Assholes. That doesn't make them racists (Yes, all racists are assholes, but not all assholes are racist) and it doesn't make them misogynist. I had no problem with the Rose character, but a lot of people did. They were too stupid to separate a character from the actress who played her. Harassment is illegal and Tico would be perfectly justified in taking some type of legal action but don't mistake straight up trolling for racism. Sometimes an asshole really is just an asshole. And, for those out there who missed the entire point of this paragraph, no it was not okay that those assholes harassed Tran.
The problem like Wendig and others like him is that they live in a world where what succeeds should depend on how well if supports their political beliefs and not whether or not it's a quality movie. Listen folks, it doesn't work that way. For one, not everyone believes as you do. For another, you haven't reached the level of political power where you can force people to watch something just because you told them to. This is still the United States and not Panem. There is no such thing as required viewing.
And yes, you are lying when you try to make everything about racial hatred. It is possible to dislike something a non-white (or not-male, or-non straight, or non-cis) person did on its own merits and not because you hate them for being what they are. Really. It's even possible to like something that a non-white, or non-male or non straight or non-cis person did and not like it just because they fit into that category as well. Seriously. I loved Doogie Howser as a kid and How I Met Your Mother as an adult. Barney Stinson is the man. I'm a Neil Patrick Harris fan. No, it's not because he's gay. It's because he's a good actor. That's the way it should be.
Yes, modern social theory does say that we should seek out -isms and -phobias in all of their forms, but you're forgetting that there is something called confirmation bias. Basically, and this applies to all human beings including myself, if a person expects to find something they will. If a person expects to find racism they'll find it. If a person expects to find sexism, they'll find it. If a person expects to see evidence that the other side is over-reacting to something because they perceive something as an -ism when it's not they'll find that too. I'm not perfect but at least I acknowledge my biases and try to work around them. Those of you out there who like to label everyone they disagree with as an -ist don't bother. We're all the same to you and any objection to your ideas means hate, at least as far as you're concerned.
Star Trek is a cultural icon. In a society where flashes in the pan are common it has thrived for over fifty years now. It was the first integrated show. It featured the first interracial kiss. It has tackled ideas like racism, sexism and environmentalism for decades. If you don't think that having a bridge crew featuring white men, a black woman and an Asian man was cutting edge in 1967 then you really need to take a history class. The reason that it works is not that it supports those ideas. The reason it has succeeded is because it is entertaining. If you want to get your point across you need to chill on the screaming hatred and finger pointing and work on putting a quality product together because we're not going to buy your crap just because you yell -ist. Nor do we care if you're offended.
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