I was hesitant to watch Scream because I'm a LOOOOOONG way from being the world's biggest fan of reboots, but it wasn't really a reboot in the same way that the new Ghostbusters wasn't a reboot, so I figured I'd check it out. If nothing else, it was a movie with Courtney Cox and Neve Campbell in it right? I've had a thing for both of those women for years. (NEWSFLASH: They're still beautiful.) And turns out that I was right: It's not a reboot, it's a requel.
There are all kinds of rules about what makes a requel versus what makes a sequel versus what constitutes a reboot, but Scream definitely is one. It's all explained in one of the movies meta moments and honestly, it wouldn't BE Scream without the meta moments. Those have to be there and they were. There has never been a Scream (or for that matter, one of its Scary Movie parodies) that wasn't very heavily meta. What would be over the line in any other entertainment, on- or off-screen, is normal and necessary for Scream and, as someone who saw the original Scream in movie theaters back during the Clinton Administration, I can assure you that they did it right once again.
Seriously, this was a good movie. It had the kill scenes, the jump moments, the circuitous logic, the big plot twist, and everything else you would expect. Scream is a whodunit wrapped in a slasher flick and they pulled this one off brilliantly. The only thing it was missing was the popcorn and that's my fault. I had two bags and just didn't put one in the microwave.
To be fair, I'm uhhh...
Not totally certain that was the films fault. I just can't think of who else's fault it might be.
Listen, I've never admitted to anything being my fault. Just ask my ex-wife.
Anyway...
I like the new cast of youngsters. Scream started out as a movie about young people and it looks like the franchise is headed back that way. I approve. Running for your life from psychotic killers is a bad career choice in your 40s (which is where the remaining original cast members are). Us forty-somethings don't have the high enery levels, physical conditioning and ability to bounce back once injured that we did twenty years ago. There is a reason most professional athletes retire before they hit forty and it's not because they don't love the millions.
Which isn't to say that the original cast members aren't important to the movie. They for sure are and their presence makes sense. I remember reading somewhere about how Leonard Nimoy had refused to do Star Trek: Generations because there was no reason for Spock to be there. The character served no purpose. That's not the case here. All three returning Screamers are there for valid reasons and are central to what's going on. You won't see any "human exclamation points" here.
I a world where school shootings continue to happen because they get press, the Scream franchise has a visceral realism that other franchises just don't. Schools get shot up by evil assholes who want to get their faces on TV, so why wouldn't someone go to a town with a history of serial killers whose exploits get made into movies and kill people? Don't get me wrong. I'm not encouraging it. I'm just saying that this story hits close to home and it makes the fear more real. A Nightmare on Elm Street movie might be scary in the moment, but on some level you know that no dead guy is ever going to murder you in your dreams. When copycat killings happen in real life, it's easy to see something like the plot of a Scream movie occurring. I'm honestly kind of surprised that it hasn't.
Somewhere out there exists an EMT/trauma surgeon type that's going to tell me I'm wrong about this, but the injuries looked totally realistic to me. Even down to the blood spatter (not spray! I watched CSI, so I know this) on the walls, floors and the characters themselves. This movie left me disgusted when I needed to be and in shock when I needed to be.
Speaking of in shock, I want to compliment both the writers and the actresses here. Sydney Prescott (played by Neve Campbell) and Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) have been through a lot in the previous four movies. It would have been very easy to write and play them as jaded and immune to the types of reactions that most people would have upon encountering some of what is in this movie. In some parts, they actually are. But in the parts where you need to feel the shock that the characters would, those two characters shine. It wasn't until I sat down to write this that I thought about how well those scenes were done, but they were flawless. I should probably mention David Arquette as Dewey Riley here as well. He played his part well but, to be honest, I've never been a fan of either the character or the actor. Still, he did a better job than I expected him to and I really enjoyed him.
Anyone who says that horror movies in general, or Scream movies in particular, are not highly formulaic is lying. That much having been said, that's part of why I enjoy them. You never know what the details are going to be, but there's always the sense that, at least in a vague way, you know what's coming up. It's an unthought of comfort when someone is screaming, the blood is flying and you're starting to get that queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. That is very much here. As part of the generation that grew up on Michael Myers, Freddie Kreuger, Jason Voorhies, Pinhead and whoever else I'm forgetting you have an expectation. Out there in Internetland, some egghead is complaining that the plot of Scream is the result of a formula. They're right. They're also an idiot. OF COURSE IT'S FORMULAIC. THEY'VE BEEN MAKING THESE TYPES OF MOVIES FOR DECADES NOW BECAUSE IT WORKS. Moviegoers love the formula. So seriously, go file the point off of your head and join the rest of us who like to have a good time, If you want big serious boring crap go watch something that won a Nebula or a Hugo. I'll be over here with the people having a good time. For those of you who like to watch something you can enjoy, go watch Scream. You'll be glad you did.
Bottom Line: 5.0 out of 5 Long Bladed Knives
Scream
Paramount Pictures, 2022
Scream is available for purchase at the following link. If you click the link and buy literally anything from Amazon I get a small percentage at no additional cost to you.
